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Final Entry


JeriB

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Well, it's been a long road to hoe, but Dad passed away on March 14, 2018.

 

While it was not a stroke that did Dad in, I'm sure the history of the stroke and diagnosed vascular dementia helped.  Per the death certificate, the doctors called it  "End Stage Dementia".

 

Lots happened since the last time I was on and even posted, but as a quick timeline...

 

Dad lived with me until April 2017....

 

April 2017 - Moved into Assisted Living

 

September 2017 - Had a cognitive issue that required him to be "in respite" on the rehab side of things.  It was meant as a temporary holding space until the memory care unit opened up.

 

Early October 2017 - Got pneumonia

 

Mid to Late October 2017- His kidneys failed and he ended up with a "classic" catheter and 50% kidney function; and was placed formally in the nursing home.

 

Thanksgiving - 2017 - The "classic" catheter was changed to a permanent supra-pubic

 

December 2017 - Things were okay...

 

January 2018 - I started noticing him dropping things and not really with it.

 

February 2018 - I was helping him with a special treat and at one point he could not tell that he was not holding it and was chewing his own finger; more dropping issues; 

 

Early March 2018 - We started him with the in-house doctor as it was too hard to get him out; She recommended that it may be time for hospice.

 

March 11, 2018 - Hospice paperwork signed

 

March 14, 2018 - He was gone

 

So now I have to relearn how to live my life.  I put so much on hold while taking care of him and being so involved even after moving to AL.  It's only been 4 months, sometimes it feels like yesterday.  Other times, it's easier to bear.  As much I know saying something can create the situation, this first year is going to kinda suck.  I've been to my therapist and we talked about the fact of his passing and realizing that I'm now grieving mom finally too.  Dad moved in with me in Sept of 2013; Mom had just passed Feb 2013; His strokes all happened in Jan 2014.  I never had a chance to properly grieve for her.  Now I'm reliving her passing and coping with Dad's passing also.

 

So that's it in a nutshell.  I had wonderful friends throughout this that helped and are still helping me.  I'm still struggling from time to time, but it will get easier.

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Jeri, thanks for letting us know about your Dad, condolences on your loss.People do just disappear from our community and we never know what happened so it is good when we have a continuation of the story. I understand the grieving for your Mom, I couldn't properly mourn my Father who died in 2000 until after my Mum died in 2012. It is hard to be orphaned whatever your age. Thank you for being part of the chat group too. I retired as a Chat Host but stayed on here as Blog Moderator. I do remember fondly those people who made a contribution to my life during my time as a Host and you were one of them. Good luck with your future, I wish you every happiness.

 

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