Yesterday was both an exciting day and frightening for I submitted my first job resume in almost 10 years. My doctor hasn’t entirely allowed me to work a part-time schedule but I’m looking for just that. I see him on the 20th if this month and will talk it over with him. The reason being is, to no surprise for many survivors, I can’t play my bills.. I mean I can but it will only leave me with under $100 for the month, and that’s not including food or property taxes & car insurance.   I have been talking about this a lot but I had to start paying for my Medigap insurance.  What that is is Medicare only pays for 80% of a bill and sometimes less than that so the Medigap, or Blue Cross/Blue Shield of New Jersey, should cover the rest. We all know some medical bills can cost a small fortune and when you’re on a fixed income, repaying what you owe can be darn near impossible.  Being under 50 and a resident of New Jersey, I am limited to just this insurance and if I don’t get that insurance, I cannot get a Medigap plan again until I’m 65 years old. Pretty crappy… yeah…

I didn’t realize it would cost me so much for my plans- Both Medicare and Medigap. Almost half of what I get a month. Thankfully I have P.A.A.D (Pharmaceutical Assistance to the Aged & Disabled) I’m not sure if it’s just in NJ but anyway that covers my medication.  So I know every little thing helps but yeesh.

So back to my resume- I was a my DVR (Department of Vocational Rehabilitation) and we talked about the ARC of Cape May County (Mission Statement

The Arc of Cape May County, Inc. promotes and protects the human rights of individuals with intellectual and developmental disabilities and actively supports their full inclusion and participation in the community throughout their lifetimes.   The Arc of Cape May County, Inc. is committed to enhancing the quality of life of those individuals and their families through direct services, advocacy, empowerment, education and prevention.) So as you can tell by the mission statement that is a fantastic place to work for in another life, I worked in an institution for those who were well bad off. But I digress….

Every job that isn’t basically winning the lottery sounds way beyond my abilities. I know I’m walking into the unknown and I haven’t even got the job yet but I worry that I can’t make it. I mean I get super tired after a busy day. I know I’m just putting on the brakes of what my mind is telling me because it’s a new thing. I really need to just see what happens and talking to my doctor (Neurologist) and be thankful I have a contact coming to me that will eliminate the bouncing in one eye and be grateful for those things.

Being an adult stinks sometimes.  Thank you for letting me vent and I apologize if I’ve ranted a lot about this but as with everything else... It’s a first for me.