An update and a heavy heart...
So much has happened I don't know where to begin.
My brother was buried yesterday and it was the hardest thing for my family that I can remember. I will tell you that man was he loved...by so many. The visitation and funeral were full...family, friends, business acquaintances, co-workers, and a multitude of others. All of whom grieved heavily for my brother. Everyone so kind to everyone in our family and sharing their memories and offering to be there for whatever we needed. I feel so blessed and know my brother was and was so loved.
It has been a difficult tragedy to bear. There are questions...concerns. There is an ex girlfriend and her brother that have affected things. Though they had been apart for about a year something caused them to be in contact within the last 3 weeks. It wasn't anything good. Her brother showed up at my brother's house and my brother must have felt real reason to call the police. Troy wasn't the kind of guy to depend on authorities when an issue arose he met it head on and took care of it. No one bothers him. He is calm and quiet but he knows his rights and everyone around has always respected his "space". It had to be something bigger for him to involve the police. When my brother passed it was 3-4 days before he was found. He didn't show up at work which was highly unlike him. Troy was a workaholic. He NEVER missed. His co-workers went to his house and the back door was wide open but Troy would not answer when called. They didn't go in...They called the police. He was found in his bathroom on the floor in a pool of blood in a state of rigormortous and decomposition. His head at the opening of his closet and the remainder of his body in front of the bathroom vanity. His house was taped off and processed and his body was sent to the medical examiner's in Nashville for autopsy. His co-workers said they only had a number to his ex girlfriend and she was called. She came to the house and said Troy had no family just her. When it was discovered that it was my brother my sister was called and came right away. The girl said she knew nothing of my sister or anyone else. My sister told the Sheriff she was not family and was not welcome on the property and she was told to leave and not to come back. This infuriated her. The locks were all changed and his home was patrolled off and on through the night. In the morning my mom, sister, and his daughter came to the home and this girl had broken in an was going through the house. My mom found her looking under his mattress. They walked out without her seeing them and called the police. They arrived and knocked on the door and she answered and invited them in like she lived there. She was arrested for felony trespassing, felony breaking an entering, and after searching her car, purse and self...felony theft. She had stolen many of my brother's things and was filling her car up, purse, and body. EDIT: She also was staging his home as though she lived there. She had placed framed pictures of her and Troy around the house. They weren't there the day before because I was there and there were no pictures of her period anywhere. END EDIT. Later that night a male called my nephews phone and said "There better not be anyone at Troy's house the next day."- he thought he was talking to my brother in law (it was this girl's brother). She also showed up at my brother's visitation on Friday night. She had colored her hair and her and others in her car tried to get in. She was told to leave by the director and was told that she was not welcome and the family did not want her there and not to come back. If she did not leave she would be arrested...So She left. We never saw her yesterday but were on edge that she may show up again. So it's been weird and we are all left with questions. He is suspected of having a heart attack but the autopsy will take a bit of time for more answers.
My dad did well earlier this week adding chemo to his treatment. His doctors have suspended all treatment until Monday due to my brother's death. He is taking this hard though he tries very hard to not show it. My mom is a rock...She always has been. My niece (Troy's daughter) signed executer of estate to my mother because she is still so young and doesn't know what to do and also because she is very pregnant with her 3rd child and due anytime. She has stood like a rock but it is breaking her inside. He was her first born. You shouldn't have to bury your children.
Me...well I have been having problems for some time now and this has just multiplied it by 100. I went to my Neurologist the week before last and to my Psychiatrist this past Thursday. 3 seconds after he walked into the room a lightening bolt hit so close and so loud that I almost ended up in the floor. I went into an immediate bad panic attack. Crying was uncontrollable. The next hour was filled with tears, fears...It felt like a nervous breakdown (I'm not sure I really know what that feels like but that's what I thought). He told me that my Neurologist had already called him about me and she acknowledged the CCAS and wanted to fill him in before I came Thursday. I was surprised. It made my crying worse. He talked to me about my disability because he knows I am harboring a lot of stress over it and asked me what is frightening me (I just got a hearing date not long ago). I told him I'm terrified of going back to work because I know I will face stress everyday that I can not handle anymore. I'm afraid it will be turned down again...I'm terrified of exploding from the anxiety. He told me he did not want me to worry about disability that I would not be able to work again. I cried even more. He gave me Nuedexta and was glad I had lost it in his office so he could see. He is hoping this will help and that some of my anxiety is coming from PBA. It has not been a kind drug so far. I am so nauseous, tired and seems like a fre other things. So we'll see.
Thanks for listening and please send a prayer for my family to help them and me through this heavy time. Thank all of you so much! I feel like many of you are an extension of my family and I love you.