Crazy Lady seeks advice
Ok - input appreciated- especially those who have followed me for years - literally !. Its taken a long time for me to settle down and into my "stroke widow" role. I was pretty young when it happened to Dan and I had ambitions of my own- all flushed when Dan stroked. So after the 4 years of caring for Dan ended with me in the mental institution and him in a nursing home - I am debating bringing him home. Why - Im doing virtually all his cares and still paying the bill for his care. Im finding, I may, in a few years down the line end up in financial issues if I continue to payout for his care, and even though I have a great boss I do not earn but barley a 1/3 of my previous - before stroke salary.
With all the constant care and paying attention needed I could never commit to a job like I had previous . The job I have now accommodates , don't pay well, but is very accommodating.
And I feel the actual want to care for him again in his our home. I feel most of the "RUN" has been taken out of me. Im not running as much , given up the alter life I tried to have. Of course this will involve some planning and work , by no means is this gonna happen anytime soon. The home I have now is not handicap accessible , can not do long term care in it. So I would have to look at homes AGAIN --again history is repeating itself.
So Im playing with the idea. Have not and will not tell Dan anything as I have not made a solid decision. I kinda feel like I don't want Dans story my story or OUR story to end in the nursing home YET. I recognise I may be repeating a pattern, but the pattern of everyday Nancy to the home to work to the home --- then to my house to sleep and repeat and paying a institution to do what I do isn't working either....
So for fun people digest this..... Yesterday the home had changed Dans bedding - YAH !!! so I notice the blanket on the one side the visible is hanging really low , so I figured I would pull his bed out and even out the blanket. I pull out the bed and his blanket on that side has like 2 feet on the floor.... Im like WTF ?? so they took the rectangular blanket put it on the bed wrong ( side ways) and figured the extra would just go away... I laughed so hard.. Went and talked to his nurse supervisor and was like - I don't know who special ed is that made that bed , but man if you can't do the most basic simple and easy job in the whole place - I pity the residents. I wasn't adversarial and not even angry - just the daily shenanigans of the home is so frustrating. They are having so much trouble as are all the homes hiring that a "warm body" is pretty much the only qualification.
I just don't know that the home is the best for Dan at this point. Im sure he'll end up in a home again, but I guess Im willing to try again... but the decision is not made and a lot would need to happen if thats the decision. Im not in a hurry --- and yes to my long time stroke net friends please chime in tell me what you think. You know my history, you know ME and you know the STROKE ISSUES we all deal with daily.---- Nancy