It has been three weeks.   I cannot believe it!   A bed sore!   William has never had a bed sore.  But this just lying on the bed for 3 weeks has done it.  I have been changing the underpad often.  It is difficult to change by myself.  I have called hospice and informed them that I will need help twice a day to change and clean him.  They have agreed to do that. 

It is 3:28AM .   I have been up since 2AM.  I got the kitchen all cleaned and cleaned the floor of the living room.  William is usually up this time of morning.  Thankfully he is sleeping peacefully.  When I changed the underpad.   He  asked for a sip of water.  He had a couple of swallows.

I am just praying that he will go peacefully before his skin deteriorates more.  The CNA comes and bathes him and I have to be the one that is looking for that.  It started out as a skin discoloration.  I have put a pillow under his bottom to shift his weight.

This morning his eldest son will be coming out to say good bye.  They have been estranged for over 25 years.  I do not know how responsive William will be.  But, this will be closure for his son.   I hope that perhaps this is what William has been hanging on for.

  The chaplain was concerned that perhaps  I am not ready.  But,  I do feel that this will be a relief.  I hate to see him just lying there.  Yesterday and the day before.  He kept asking to be let out of this bed.  I tried to explain that I could not safely transfer him.  I did feel so bad.  In the past  I would move him from the bed.

It is strange the nurse wanted to check his heels for bed sores on her last visit.  But, she did not check his bottom.  I remember my son telling me to always check his backside for bedsores.  He said that nobody really looks there.

William is sleeping so peacefully.

I am so used to waking up and checking on William.  I wonder if perhaps I will be able to sleep through the entire night without waking up to check on William.  Well, we shall see.

I did buy tickets to go to California over the Thanksgiving holiday.  I will spend the holiday with my son.  It is so strange to make plans again.  I am so used to staying at home and taking care of William and the dogs.  My friends will take care of my dogs for me.  It will be strange to be on a plane again.  Imagine it has been 10 years since I last traveled.

I wonder if my minimalist idea will really hold.  I plan to shedding a lot of stuff for my move.  But that will be in year or so.  It is so strange to think of life in the future.

Two days ago the hospice nurse thought that William would last thru the night.  But,  he is still here with me.  Everyday,,,I wonder.  He has lost so much weight and looks gaunt.  This is a fellow that has always had trouble with his weight.

A friend of mine told me that I should cross fold a sheet and lay it under him.  This would help me to turn him.  I will do that when I have the nurse come in today.

This morning he has been compliant and let me turn him by myself.  Maybe he is getting too tired to fight me.  I have scheduled a nurse to come out tomorrow and a CNA.  I will call them again on Monday to make sure that they have the same thing set up for the week.  Who knows.   I may still need all of that help.