• entries
  • comments
  • views

I did it!



8XyM.*I now am battery operated!

I got a chance to speak to the rep from the company ,. He was there helping the doc.


It was not that bad.

The doc said he thot they would have to stop. My bp went to 200. Ya. Hurt a bit.


But I did it!


So I had to reposition 3 times. I did push ups! Not easy on a op bed thing. But they finally got the right angle.


The curve in my back was in his way.

Then too flat.

Ok. Took experimenting. One more time they said. But my anxiety and pain elevated. I was exhausted. The total time was 2 hours on the table. They assure me now they have a map to work from and the permanent procedure will be easier.


So then arthritis in my back made it hard to thread. Arthritis? Stenosis? Bone spur. 

My doc said everyone has arthritis so nothing to be concerned about.


He did say to me "You really powered through there at the end and I really appreciated that!"


Well after all that you bet I wanted success!!!


But nice someone recognized the sacrifice,the effort,the courage.

I felt a surge of pride,childlike,those words were needed. Bless my doc for the recognition and not taking all the credit. But he is heroic,he never gave up,he tried even though he thought he went overtime.

And they kept me going with the IV courage juice.


So I have just 1 lead in the epidural spaces threaded in the ladder of the spine. 8 electrodes are on the lead, impacting different nerve bundle stuffs of lower back, lower right leg and foot.

The second one is backup and not needed really.

Right away I felt my foot tingle with needles and pins. So I was taught to use the remote and tune signal down. Success!!! I am a responder!!! They said it went perfect!!!

Praise and Thanks!!




The transport driver arrived and we rolled out only to find a van without access to the seats from ramp. I could not step up. I had to go back inside,call for another,wait. 2 hours they guessed. So I was put back in reclining chair, hooked to decices,BP cuff,O2 finger thing, and quite exhausted & happy, I drifted off a pain pill that was sure to help. 

Then I WAS AWAKE.  Two nurses were saying Ok Shes back, numbers improving, call the doctors from a close by department,call my neurologist.

Wait.wait.wait. wait.wait. It All went well.send me home!


Two doctors asking me about did you fall asleep? Stoopid Q. I said I already know I have apnea but they want study before they send me around on oxygen. The doc asked nurses how did they notice my level drop.

One nurse behind desk was grinning and said "Her Snoring. How could you miss it?"  

That is all it took for me to dissolve.

I accused her Is this funny? Sure she thinks so,she is laughing about it. Hilarious! Thanks? Is this about saving me? And I swear the nurse covered her mouth and face with both hands and they all got a huge chuckle saying no its what we look for......

So there was that annoying sensitivity of mine...but cmon, saying THAT was unprofessional and cruel when it was obviously going to embarrass me.

And I had already repeatedly told those 3 nurses that I had trouble with things moving fast ,multi tasking...like them buzzing around me caused nervous chaos vibrating around. Another kind nurse said comforting things,buzzed too but not annoying...softer buzzing yet still hurrying me. Every move hurt me. Breathing hurt. I had told that to my doc. She put it down to my weirdness.


Then they explained how risky living with apnea could be. Hearing someone say in your ear, You could pass away,or have another stroke.......tears broke,my soul broke, why had I endured so much to just stop breathing. That funny sound was me choking gasping in a final breath obstructed. What is there to giggle over?


Each doc made a speech...and both curiously reached out touch my hand. Interesting gesture that failed to comfort. Why? I just said that it was terrifying to have all the fuss...in the event something went wrong I did not dream of This Way.....


And I felt guilty they called my doc to come back.....

There he was as I emerged from the Loo...saying just go to rule things out,get what you need....

I could not hear or listen any more.

For once I understand the worldview of the autistic....

I was overwhelmed...like the kid at an unwanted birthday party. I am THE brat. The obstinate one. Unknowable. Unlikeable.


Yet I suspected the ER would send me back to the nursing home for my doc there to treat my sleep apnea.


So I said Of course I agree to go to the ER BUT I said I already have appointment with sleep study.....ok my doc arrived and the medics were there.....

So in the interest of urgency and decency....I climbed on another tiny bed.


And then the truly OUTRAGEOUSLY HILLARIOUS moments of the entire saga of the day unfolded.....as they loaded me into the ambulance, the medic says "We are only driving over to the next building. The outpatient pavilion is actually at the ER. They could have pushed you in a wheelchair there. 


My Insurance WILL be thrilled!


The triage nurse said I was not going strait to a bed......as if the ambulance fiasco was discovered....she put me in the waiting room....said the wait was estimated at 3 hours. I wore a mask and lamented at every coughing contagiousness surrounding me. And then they gave me that famous turkey sandwich,banana,graham crackers, and the npo fast ended. That was all I needed to feel normal again. And I dozed off in the waiting room where no one was watching. And if no one had noticed,I had a thing shoved up my spine, threaded,pounded.....the numbness wore off. I begged for pillows to sit on,lean against. 


Somewhere in there they went in same arm same place as the earlier IV but unsuccessful at getting blood. A second try was a fool wanting to use that same arm, I was not drinking water, so I heard myself screaming rather than arguing. He left and I felt they were disgusted. No comfort. 

I mean the whole day was tortured. Every hour. 

I scream and no one says sorry. They want an apology from me for not providing them blood. 


So then they wanted me to sit in the bed reclining on my back. I sat in the chair padded all around sleep overtaking nodding flopping over and then begging for my pain medications.....as expected to need them....in the beginning.....and the doc sent me away saying,well you have had it for a while,so just go see your primary doc, you know it is sleep apnea. 


By midnight this Cinderella was removing her shoes and sitting in the chair,then sleeping in the bed. Without oxygen. Even though I gave the papers, told the tale.

We will call the doc. That is a broken response,and today Between napping,totally day passed unnoticed, but tonight I was adamant. I finally said then return me to the hospital, and then oxygen tank came in for me to use while sleeping.


The medic said he had sleep apnea.

He was looking fit.

That encouraged me to resist despairing I am on the oxygen. 


I wonder if lack of O2 is making me the irritable person I am. Or maybe 4 years of continuous pain. Or maybe sick of people

Who are just annoying.


Oh the old roomie who said I made it impossible for her to remain well she sent well wishes. I ignored it.





Recommended Comments

Sounds like a nightmare for you. BUT you have the implant so life should get better. I think it is so much harder without someone to advocate for you as I did for Ray. I wish there was someone who could make!e all of this easier for you. (((hugs)))

Link to comment

Wow Pam that was excruciating to read. Put through the ringer not once but 3 times? Sending you hugs...you are brave my friend. After all of this I still am so excited for you. I pray that this zapper does better than even studies expect. For you! 🙂 Keep us informed! 💕

Link to comment
Add a comment...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.