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place to keep track


nancyl

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one of the most useful aspects of StrokeNet for me has been the blogging its therapeutic and useful to see where we have been in the journey. And in general just to keep track of the daily SH-T that happens . Perhaps someone reads about our issues and feels less alone on the wonderful stroke road.

So my entry is-- Dan pulled a oldie but a goodie. He tried jumping out of the car while out youngest was taking him home. Me and a girlfriend decided to have a night out , Dan was at my work, fully aware of my decision to go out with my girlfriend. Wasn't thrilled but seemed onboard. Beth came and got him , made the McDonalds run and was driving when he decided she wasn't paying him enough attention and tried to jump out of the car. Another car stopped and luckily a Cop was out and about and seen it. 

Ironically back in my working at the jail days I knew the cop. But anyhow- the cop did his best to deal with Dan ( Dan has no higher power he doesn't care much about anything ). Eventually with a cop escort Dan got returned to the home.

And today we had his semi yearly meeting so tried to converse with him. He cried- ( sometimes his crying can be for the purpose of getting his way - sometimes its real) , everyone felt bad. And I told him for awhile he isn't going out. He goes out daily to either my work, my oldest daughters house ( not the daughter he tried the jump out of car with) and he also goes to the casino ( which has its own issues I do my best to balance) or out to our oldest daughters cabin. So this is not a deprived man, myself and his children have made sure he has a active life. But the man is so hard to be with. Many times mean as a snake. But he is Dad and my husband so we compensate and deal with it. 

In this instance not much can be done to remedy except not take him anywhere anymore. But the reality is we still will- its who we are. Of course not for a few days cause you can't pull this crap and expect a basic BYE of forgiveness immediately . So we'll move on from this. Like I said when I started writing this its therapeutic to write and documentation might be useful some day to some one.  I wonder if there is a Guinnessbook of records for bad behavior - LOL

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Hi Sarah, nothing to say but HUGS.  Hang in there Dan is actually a very lucky man. The way he behaves no one would blame you for just leaving him in the home all the time.

-Heather

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What Heather said.

 

Hi Sarah, I think Dan is very blessed to have you.

For all the problems,  you don't give up.

You are a special lady.

 

J x 

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Nancy,  you do what you have to do!    I go through similar situation with Gary not wanting to do his share in helping with transfers or feeding himself.   He gets stubborn or just plain lazy at times, and I have to threaten to leave him home from casino if he doesn't want to do his share.   I guess he thinks I'm Super Woman and can just lift his dead weight on to the wheelchair.    Last trip to casino, he got agitated at some people who were blocking walkway and reached out and grabbed some gal's rear end.   I had to apologize for his rude behavior and she said "that's okay," but it's not okay.    Times like those, I wish I had left him at  home!!!    I hear where you're coming from .....it's a daily struggle to give them a somewhat normal life without their cooperation!!   Stubborn is as stubborn does!    

 

Sarah

 

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My Mum used to try to get out of the car too. I think it was a miracle she never finished up in the roadway. We have compulsory seat belt laws here so I could hear the faintest click and knew what she was up to. I f I could I pulled over to the side of the road, put her seatbelt back on and told her she would not be riding in my car again. That was enough to do the trick for a few minutes and give me time to head back to her nursing home. Used to spoil the day for me though.

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