I guess you can not have all good days every day sometime have to have down days, when you question every one's love for you & think you are all alone in this wide world, and should just quit trying & go & live life  without interacting with any one. ok so I was mad at hubby & brother thinking no one loves me  or appreciates me & only give me hard time even when I am working my butt off  stepping out of my comfort zone  & sill all they do is point out my shortcomings, maybe I should just quit & live on my own, kido is now on good path & will be ok if we are together or not, ofcourse now I am back to my old self fights with hubby & brother all are done & I am back in love again, but man I should read my own blogs  & learn from them. all is well now in Asha-land, kido is enjoying his stressful & intense medical field where he has already learning about human anatomy & dissecting cadaver  (human dead body), I was telling him about girl fainting in my 12th grade biology class when frog we were dissecting jumped off the table lol. It seems no one fainted in his class while their anatomy class,All are very smart dedicated kids who are there because they want to be there. I am so happy & relieved for him, he chose the path by trials & errors, he did not enjoy work which did not have human interaction, he did not enjoy engineering  or accounting field though he tells me he did not know what engineers did all day sitting behind their laptop, I am glad he did not meet all these NASA engineers, and thanks to my illness met all wonderful doctors & could see their impact on patient outcome. I guess I still like to take some credit even when I know I was just dog under bullock cart, bulls(kids)do all the work dog just keep them on straight path,  this is analogy used by my hubby in describing parent's role in raising their children, & my brother says oh man your husband calls you dog & you don't even realize its verbal abuse & say it proudly hehehe. (lol). Now you know why I love my family & will be so lost without them in my life.

Asha