I have started to get back to my old routine again, this has some good and some bad aspects. The good side is more socialising and going out when I want to go out. When I had the carers it was shopping once a week on Wednesday afternoons and coffee or lunch if someone volunteered to take me. I felt isolated and frustrated. Then after I saw the neurosurgery team and got permission to drive I regained my freedom, now I can go where I want when I want. The downside is that I am expected by the church folk to be wherever there is a need for pastoral care! And to do all the things I used to do.
I am gradually getting stronger and maintaining my energy levels longer. This means a whole day out is still not possible but a morning or afternoon for three or four hours is. When the three months is up, when I should have recovered from the anaesthetic etc I should be back to whatever is the new normal for me. If I have been busy in the morning at the moment there is still a time mid afternoon when I need to rest, whether it is in a quiet corner with my feet up or a short nap. I try not to say "yes" to too many things on the one day now.
I find I have to take signs that I need to slow down from my body seriously. If I only do 20 minutes gardening in the morning that is fine, I can do some more tomorrow or the next day. It is good to be able to do a little more each week. Today was a busy day as I went to two funerals, one in the morning, one in the afternoon about half an hour's drive apart. Both were Lions wives, I had known them both for many years. Sadly as some of our Lions are in their 80s and 90s this is going to happen more frequently. But as the Lions were some of the people who supported Ray and I through the stroke years they deserve my respect now.
Also on the good side I should soon be able to travel again so I can go up to Trevor in Broken Hill for his birthday and plan some short visits to other friends. Basically this has not been feasible for the past couple of years so it will be another form of freedom gained. I have been wanting to go on holidays so much, envying all my couple friends who post pictures on their Facebook page from all over the globe. I must confess this has been so ever since I became a widow. I did those two trips to England including the trip when I met Ann Rogers at her son's wedding in Norfolk and of course I had the meet up with Sarah Rademacher in Hawaii. Those trips just whet my appetite for some more travel adventures.
So what can I do? Increase the fun times in my life. Let's face it Mr Right is not coming along in my future, with or without the white charger. So anything I plan to do I need to be able to do alone. This is a bit limiting, dancing needs a partner except at the WAGS Womens Weekend in November and I have just put my name down for that. Then there is the WAGS Christmas party and I have put my name down for that too. Every year I ask my friends to give me a call if they want me to do anything with them in November or December and each year I explain why I need advanced notice. Every year some are disappointed that the Lions Club Christmas raffle and other things have taken priority over whatever they wanted me to do.
BUT I still have to have the thyroid operation to face up to. I have contacted the specialist's office but have not heard back from him yet about when he plans to do the operation. I am hoping this doesn't mean I will have the operation just before Christmas, that would be a tragedy. I would prefer it after Christmas in that slow period that is most of January, when my friends are looking after the grandkids for the long summer break. I am not as involved as I used to be when the Adelaide boys are up visiting their mother and need babysitting. These days they would be minding me! They are 13 and 12 and full of energy. I love having them here but strictly one day at a time.
I must say my future looks brighter now. I am still cautious about making plans, maybe that will never change. I still keep to the motto: "life is what happens when you're busy making other plans" but if I relax and go with the flow it can still be a very pleasant life.