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Missed Anniversary


SarahR

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Here it is the middle of June already, and I just realized that Gary's stroke anniversary came and went on June 1 and I totally forgot about it - maybe because he passed away in February, we're still dealing with the Coronavirus, and so much more in the news.   June 1 would have been his 16th stroke anniversary........but he only survived 15 years and 8 months following that devastating brain stem stroke in 2004.    I'll bet his Doctors from back then would be shocked and amazed that he lived that long after telling me he might not live six months; and it would have been even less than that had I placed him in a nursing home.    While caring for him at home for 15+ years was no easy task, it sure as heck beat the alternative, and I gave him the best life he could possibly have considering his disabilities.    In all those years since the stroke we did our best to accept the new normal and still have a life.    While I miss him dearly, I know he is in a much better place now.    I will be going back to Colorado the first part of July to make sure they finally get the marker on his grave site and be there for his birthday.   I have asked his brother and sister who live nearby to join me at the cemetery and then go to lunch after.    We have to wait to do a Celebration of Life ceremony because of social distancing rules - but we need some kind of closure for now, and acknowledging his date of birth at his final resting place next to our youngest son seemed like the right time and place to do that.    His former caregiver, Carmen, who now lives in CA will be driving up from San Diego to make the trip to Colorado with me.   I didn't feel comfortable making that 16 hour trip alone and she really wanted to go as she always treated him like her own Dad, even calling him her Papa.   I'm keeping busy with the two dogs, who will be spending the week that I'm away with my sister in Tucson (she can spoil them rotten).  I will try to check in when I return from the trip - looking forward to cooler weather as we've been in the triple digits for a while now and no cooling off till Sept.   Pool or no pool, that's still too darn hot!!!

 

Sarah 

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I think it's very special to have someone like Carmen who , even after his passing, would do that.  And triple digits temps?????????? That's nuts. People always say ' but it's dry heat' yeah but when I open my oven, that's dry heat to and holy sweat beads...... that's HOT.

 

I think that you didn't forget about it.. really. It was just a fact of everyday life and yes with all of this pandemic , i can understand with all of that , the days just bled into one another. I hope your travels are safe and everything is correct

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Sarah, the Covid virus has put so much of our lives on hold. I think for me it has been a break from an over busy life but I have been feeling VERY lonely not all the time but sometimes for a few days at a time. I understand your needs and returning to Colorado to honour Gary, even if with so few people present will put your mind at rest. Sending you a hug and all my love. Sue.

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Sarah :

 

Its so good you are going to colorado & meet with his brother & sister for that final closure of saying good goodbyes. Its so amazing that one of his caregiver is willing to come with you for that trip makes you realize Gary was special guy &  loved by many. given his disabilities I know caring for him wouldn't have been easy for any one & you are right he lasted that long is because of your care.though atleast he s in better place & ow watching over his family by his son by his side.

 

hugs,

Asha

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