Hear me out.. I'm not ostentatious.. i swear
So hear me out... I'm not snooty.. promise
For the past 12 years, I've been taken care of. meaning, when I had my stroke I was married and my husband ( now ex) was taking care of the monies and life was good . When we got divorced, I moved in with my parents so, again, I wasn't paying the bills. I have money in my savings but I try not to touch it unless REALLY important.
I found an "apartment' but went to an association and now a condo right down the road, literately. merely .5 miles ( .8km) so I have them nearby if I need them. My neighbors know I had a stroke and are helpful, when needed. I, thankfully, was able to buy it out right so no mortgage but just HOA fees. My ex husband is union electrician and makes GREAT money. He also is still one of my best friends and he allowed my younger sons SSID, through me, because we have joint custody and he knows what I get a month for social security he gets in about a week and a half.
That said ...
I really never realized how lucky I was.
I don't want to come across as pretentious for I truly am not.
It is more like a fresh divorce .... even through I've been divorced for years.. or like finally being on my own.. I hope that makes sense....
I got a letter from Social Security that said , and it's true, in March my son who has been getting the Social Security is going to be 18 so it'll stop. Well of course ...
But it was ... not something I thought of.
That'll be a loss of $640 a month. OK but you have your SSDI you get.. well yes but I had to get a job so have enough for bills. It's not cheap to live in NJ. My parents have said it's fine to move back in if I need to. Heck, my dad already has plans to transform their den ( which was a garage that he transformed into a 'bedroom' when I left my abusive ex partner in Florida...with our son ..now he is 27 and he and his partner have my grandson in Florida ) So bottom line, my parents rock.
So they offered to have me legally rent my place ,to my niece pay the bills and I move back to my parents. And they'd welcome it. I'm just uncomfortable with that for, she is responsible but there is history behind it. Or I can sell my place and I'd get my money back. The more I type this down, the more I sound contradictory but I know, at the end of the day, I'll be OK.
My father said give it a year and within that time if I run into financial issues, he can help. They aren't rich but comfortable. He gets his teachers his teachers pension plus Social Security (and mom gets SSI) and because he is over 66, he can make all he wants and he drives the activity school bus to sports games, for the school he worked for, and during the summer he is the beach director at the beach in the town I grew up in and makes more then I do with SSDI and part of the jobs pay from May-Sept. He would give you the shirt off his back... my entire family, like most of yours, puts family first. I feel horrible to take anything from them because they have always done so much for me and my sister and I want them to just worry about what they are going to watch on TV lol. But that's why family does. I'm lucky to have my family and I know that
I cancelled my cable TV and only kept my WiFi but at a less speed. Bundled up more and kept my heat a little cooler than what I would have. I guess the one good thing about my surgery I can't really eat food. I;m not going to not eat but less snacking and going out to eat , when my son comes. I can pay my bills every month, which is the most important thing, but putting extra money into savings for taxes is going to be harder and I'm not going to get a lump at the end of the month just scattered so tight.
If I took from my savings , I'd be stuck at the end of year with paying tax on it. I've never got anything back and had to owe... guess that is pretty self-explanatory
If it sounds like I'm whining... kinda but it's weird to say this but I've never been on my own.. I hope that makes sense.
I swear every word I type i sound like spoiled shite. I feel like an a$$hole for even talking about this for I admire , truly admire all the stories I hear about we all do what we have to do.
I'm a big girl and I know we must think like we are lotus flower. We grow no matter where we are and least expected. But we grow. I just wanted to write this down. I try not to talk about personal,, like this, often for I know it may sound, pretentious and that is not becoming but I wanted to get it off my chest. I'm good just like the times we are in, situations can change in a moment and that's the way the cookie crumbles