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Trying to keep positive


swilkinson

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It seems a long time since I last posted a blog. I have been in what feels like imposed solitude since June 26th along with 5 million or so other people. We are in a huge area known as Greater Sydney, we haven't had many cases but because so many people commute from the Central Coast to businesses in Sydney and the surrounding areas whenever parts of Sydney go into lockdown we do too. It annoys the locals as we don't get the benefit of living in Sydney just the side effects. We will not come out of lockdown until after August 28th.

 

I had the sad situation of Trevor and Alice arriving on the 26th June at 5am to spend a week with me only to leave again at 5pm to avoid being locked in for the duration. Thirteen hours drive each way between here and Broken Hill so a bad start to Alice's two week school holidays. She and Trevor had to go into 

isolation for fourteen days when they got back to Broken Hill so deeply regretted they didn't have time at  "her beach" here on the coast. Trevor and Alice were confined to his house except for exercise and shopping. Trev said the time flew by with plenty in the craft box plus computer and games on her Switch occupying most of her time.

 

I was devastated by their abrupt departure and sorrowful for days but got over it eventually. I guess because I am a widow I am used to my own company so although I don't have much outside contact the computer and the phone still connect me with friends and family. I have been posting a daily diary on Facebook and today is Day 40 of it so if you are a friend on my Facebook you will have seen how I spend my time. It is mostly gardening and housework and I am still crocheting the cat mats  but recently I have added photo sorting as I found two shoe boxes of loose photos. These included some of my Dad's so I started sorting and then found some of his Uncle Jim who was a Beefeater and served in the Royal Household for our present Queen's father so decided to send copies to a cousin who is working on the family tree.

 

I've joined a nightly prayer group, not from my church but a collection of people on the Central Coast, it is an assorted group but a good connection to a couple that I knew a long time ago. I think that this forced isolation has benefited me in the way that gives me extra time to sort out my life. I have in a way enjoyed the fact that there is very little I have to do that is scheduled so I can choose what to do when I choose to do it. I have never experienced that before. I went from my parents home to marry and live with Ray, from being a wife and mother to being a caregiver, from being a caregiver to being a widow and keeping busy doing so many things to block out the loneliness. But now there is none of that social outreach and so I can see life differently.

 

What the future holds none of us knows. My friend Peter and I still talk via Messenger every second night, we can't visit as I am not allowed out of the Greater Sydney area. I still ring or text various other widows so we are up to date with what is going on in each other's life and what we struggle with. I still come on here and another couple of sites, filling in time mostly though I think that is another good connection that benefits others too. What is missing is the up close and personal contact, the socialising, the handshakes, hugs and sharing joy together. I really miss that. I hope that reoccurs as part of our new normal but I do know the old normal is not coming back.

 

Whatever happens next is in other hands. I just have to continue to keep calm and allow myself the freedom to choose among the things I am still able to do and enjoy my life.

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Sue :

 

I am so sorry about lockdown you are facing right now, today we are grieving loss of my brother in law, hubby's oldest brother who was 76 year old & passed away in his sleep, his wife was sleeping next to him & did not realize till the morning. We had all talked with him on weekend sharing fun stories of our vacation & promises to meet soon in November & spend more time in our village together. I understand it was ideal death for him, no pain or ay suffereing, but so sorrowful for his family who is all left behind not able to say proper goodbyes. I realize thats how life is, it does not come up with any guarantee, we are not guaranteed single day on this earth be it in lock-down & not in lock-down, better enjoy the day we are given to fullest.

 

Asha

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ASHA, it is the length of time I think that is starting to get to me. I am running out of interesting things to do, running out of wool for the cat mats too. Fortunately a neighbour put out plastic pots he no longer wanted and a friend brought me some potting mix so I'll be right for the next week or two. I can put out lettuce plants and herbs.

 

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Hi Sue it does get hard when the lockdown seems to stretch ahead of you "forever". The internet is your friend at this point. Get some home delivered art projects, buy some new wool online, download and print a colouring book, try some new recipes (sourdough bread baking was very popular in Vic last year, or a ginger beer plant). Take an online yoga or meditation class. Also make sure you use your exercise hour every day to leave the house even if all you do is walk around your block.  This will get better eventually. The hard part at the moment is being back in it after we had almost 6 months of fairly normal, the in and out and being unable to plan anything is what is getting to me, every time I put something to look forward to into the calendar it gets cancelled, usually on the day before. At the moment I'm crossing my fingers for my WA trip in November, as things are getting worse and worse the chances it will get cancelled get higher and higher.

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Heather, it is the uncertainty I think, the rumour is now that this will be extended into September for us as daily figures are getting higher not lower. And I have done a lot of the things suggested. So life becomes tedious. I am usually good at amusing myself but there are gaps in my life that are harder to fill. Last year with the thyroid operation  etc I was aware of my own vulnerability so that was a factor. This year I want to get back into life again.

 

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I Totally understand that Sue. I wish I could offer something better. Try to keep positive, although that's hard when you see the cases rising every day. and the government not getting on top of it. You do your bit, and hope other people do too.

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Oh Sue. What a strange world you find yourself in.

I can read the melancholy in your words.

When there's no light at the end of the tunnel, it can seem very long and lonely. 

 

I have no useful suggestions, sorry.

 

You have probably spring cleaned so many times!

 

I'm currently sorting photos, scanning them, deleting duplicates. A very long process, but the trip down memory lane has been beautiful. 

 

Chin up. Soldier on. All those cliches that don't really help at all.

 

💚👑

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Looks like Sydney is in for another extension of lockdown for the month of September too. At the end of August the Central Coast is being unhooked from Greater Sydney and will become a regional Local Government Area again. We will still have lockdown but hopefully with hair dressers, clothes shops etc

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