Dan had his surgery - it was lazer surgery to minimize his prostate. He feels much better - years of having issue and at least that pain is much better he says. Im still in Awe over how the doctors passed him and his issues  off as not important. Seems like everything gets blamed on the stroke. Like a person is not a Whole person just their stroke. Finally found a doctor who was willing and able to help for that I give thanks. Ive had some friends of late who have lost their husbands - 2 I met here on stroke net and although Im from ND - I met them in NY and Connecticut - also had a friend closer to home here in ND who lost her husband last month. 2 of them have the commonality of being surprised how much they miss their husband when they passed. Its strange how on paper, what looks easier is in fact heartbreakingly harder. It looks like not having to care , bathe , toilet, medicate another person for years and years can in fact be missed. I know I will miss it when my times comes. When Dan was so sick a few months past and in the hospital - I came home to a empty house - and it was strange how it broke my heart. After almost 11 years of caring for him , and him not being home it hurt much more than I woulda guessed. I guess its a small dose of my future. I don't know when or how but as human beings, we of course ,will eventually no longer be of this world. Just some mid bathing of Dan ponderings i decided to document quick- ( explanation - Dans in the tub I sit in his room across from the bathroom and keep a eye on him so i have a few moments of free time - thus- the ponderings-- lol). I catch up sometimes and look at the stroke net and remember what a lifesaver it was in those early frustrating days of caregiving. Hope all on stroke net is well. NancyL