Clark,

You must be a pretty special person for your friends and family to hang in there for you.

People can be pretty wonderful! We just went to a small wedding that was suppose to take place in a house. They told us "no problem" with getting Don's wheelchair inside. Someone had a portable ramp they'd bring and they did. However, a half hour before the wedding, we discovered that the doorways to the house were four inches smaller than Don's wheelchair. So you know what they did? They hauled chairs out to the front lawn and got married outside with all the guests braving 51 degrees just so Don could be a part of it. (We pleated it wasn't necessary, to just stick with their orginal plan, but they wouldn't hear of it.)

I guess what I'm getting at is this: why is it really necessary for our friends and families to understand exactly what we are going through? Can't we just accept the love and spirit in which they try to help us without needing what is impossible for them to give? I've never lost a child to SIDS or any number of other tragedies that others have experienced in their lives, but all of us have lost something that required us working through a lot of pain and that process can give us empathy for the sense of loss that comes with a stroke. Don't equate being lonely with people not understanding you, Clark. People care about you and that really is the important part.

Jean

My case is I am so glad to have survived and alive for them to come by as they wish. So many didn't make the turn to survive. Maybe if you could get the glad to be alive feeling it would help.

My other being is I know day by day I'm getting better and making progress toward some form of recovery. Otherwise it's me and my wife who quit her job almost two years ago to care for and be with me.

Of course, I'm driving, that helps her out, and I can go shopping or pick up my meds myself. With you back working, that should be great. I am home most days all day, but the phone does ring all day.

It is hard for people to understand that haven't gone through a stroke, but they love and care about you and are there. That shows they are trying to understand and give you their love and time. We have to understand that they may not know our brains feel wounded and don't always work properly. But your friends and family are still sticking by you and showing you they care deeply about you. I have several friends that before stroke I talked to at least twice a week now...maybe every 2 months. We don't have some of the same interests anymore, we are friends, but it is different now.

Bonnie

Hey Clark,

I got one question for you? Since when have you given into conditioning? Men can and do cry! I've found myself struggling with our screwed up american conditioning myself and I fight against it. Sure I take alot of BS because I am not being like everyone else. But Clark, come on over to the dark side, grab my hand, it isn't so bad over here. You may enjoy the trip, or just look at it as an interesting experience.

Pam

I feel your pain. I have had many similar feelings.Being a woman allows me the opportunity to cry(without shame). Screw the boys don't cry crap! Let it out before you explode!

sending you hugs

Ruth

keep your chin up,, depression is a terrible thing to deal with I had food allergies that caused me a lot of problems one being depression...I could not help myself and cried a lot at the drop of a hat ... can't really explain the feeling but was so emotional that I had to write my problems down on paper as I could not keep from breaking down when speaking to my Dr. he was quite concerned and told me to call him anytime he has now passed and I am much better though with my hubby stroke it takes a lot out of me. I once cried in the bank cause the teller who was new at the time didn't know me and couldn't find my account number... very embarrassing....I think you are quite the lucky guy to have so many friends that care keep up the good work....