Rant-On: I sometimes think that I should write a book, and then I laugh. I barely have time to sit here for a few minutes and bitch about things. Since the barn fell last week I have been working to get a shelter built for the cattle for winter and trying to get the new addition to the house finished, while taking mom in for her dr. appointments, scheduling her next cancer surgery and dealing with some people that seem to think that I am a real push over while they try to steal a part of my land. And a very dear husband that almost let them get away with it because he just didn't understand what was going on.

Then the untruths I have been told from the adoption agency. I was always brought up being told that if you say you are going to do something, then you had better do your darndest to do it. Not just pass the buck on to the next sucker you find. The kids have been calling me a vampire because they say they never see me sleep. Maybe it is because I don't sleep very much anymore.

I am a fighter, and I don't give up easily, but I wish a few more would jump on the band wagon with me. I am at the point that it seems worthless to even ask for help anymore. Gee, does it sound like I am having a bad day? I'm not, because I am not allowed to show anything like that. I am suppose to walk around here with a permanent smile plastered on my face and never complain. Last I knew I was a human too.

It seems so silly to cry over the barn falling in and that my covered wagon got crunched, but they were things that meant a lot to me. But they were just things. I love my family so much, and would do anything in my power to make things go right for them. My husband is such a caring and kind man most of the time and my parents can't help that they are old and sick and need help. It just seems like I am on overload lately and don't know when the end is in sight. This place seems to be my only get away for now. And I thank God that it is here.