This past week has been really tough, I am not sure if I have been putting my emotions on hold for the last two years. It's been a real roller coaster week, Floods of emotions just keep coming out. I am not sure if the holidays are bring it on. After moving all the way out here for my new job, they maybe closing my department. Yet just a week ago I refused another job at the prompting of a colleague. SO the job search begins, I know I have at least a year which will give me some time to look. We need to move back closer to family, I think it would help with my loneliness. Spending weekends all alone with my husband watch the TV is not fun. I would make him get out but it is so cold here now that he has a problem with his leg getting stiff, and shaking. I tried to explain to people who I work with what our life is really like. I was really getting myself to believe that they just didn't know. Well, I was wrong they just don't care. This is going to help with moving on because there is no one here to care about. I don't have the patience or time to waste on unfriendly people. We went to the Thanksgiving dinner 2 weeks ago and all any of them said to my husband was hi, then they ignored him. He was pretty hurt, his speech has improved and he was ready to start reaching out. Well, they blew that away for him. Now he won't go to any of my work functions, I can't blame him. I think this was finally the last straw, I was stupid to think we belonged out here, and I know it is time to move on. It will never change and you can't change ignorant people. Sorry to ramble, I been holding it in. I need to get back on my positive note.