Christmas use to be my favorite holiday, over the years I have lost that feeling. I think it comes from all the expectations I have of what it should have been. I am trying so hard to stay upbeat this year but, it is not easy. I fell down a few weeks ago and hurt my back. Now they say I have degenerative joint diease. Next Friday Rod goes in for surgery on his kidney stones. We both have had colds so we decided not to go to Massachusetts for Christmas. I had Rod call his family to tell them we would not becoming and they bearly talked to him, they are so busy. I am grateful it doesn't bother him as much as it bothers me. I hear from my family every day. His family, unless we call their is no communication that includes his mother. I would have hoped that because it is Christmas they would make more of an effort. I read the posting on emotions and it is a good one. We have been through all of them, and somedays we still go through them. What I would like for next year would be happiness, just be a little happier, and smile a little more.I just don't want to feel sadness anymore.