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snowflakes and the First Tradition

Guest

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my Al-Anon home group had a First Tradition meeting today. for those who are not familiar with 12-step programs, the First Tradition of Al-Anon is "Our common welfare should come first; personal progress for the greatest number depends on unity."

 

the whole concept of 12-step recovery is that you work your recovery with the group and not by yourself. you cannot recover without hearing the experience, strength, and hope of other members, and sharing your story, and getting feedback from others outside of meetings. to recover in isolation simply doesn't work.

 

the 12 steps of recovery are steps that we use to work our recovery individually, the twelve traditions we use to work our recovery in groups, and the twelve concepts we use to work our recovery in megagroups such as organizations and nations. all of the tools are done with the belief and under the authority of a Higher Power as each of us chooses to define her/him/it.

 

going back to the snowflake analogy (i'm so happy that i found that website!),it is as if everyone in the group is a snowflake in a snowfall. each of us is unique and individual, as no two snowflakes are alike, but without all of us snowflakes united as a snowfall, we are just meaningless drops of water, instantly melted and absorbed.

 

i feel this sentiment very strongly in my real-time groups and my real-time friends in my provincial hometown of Brooklyn, NY, Fiji (at the moment.) i feel this sentiment less strongly here only because there is no live contact with almost all of the people that i have met at Strokenet. because we cannot see each other face to face, and cannot speak to each other, and cannot be in the same room with each other, it is easier for people to never really know each other as more than pixels on a screen, miscalculations of personalities to be made, group dynamics to get extremely strange, and minor misunderstandings to be blown up into major witch-hunting expeditions.

 

this is too bad, and too sad.

 

<_<

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swilkinson

Beg to differ here, dear friend. In a real group in real time ( I did a group for 20 weeks as part of a chaplaincy program) ideas get distorted, arguments happen, huffs are taken. That was just six of us!!!

 

You can never know someeone or understand someone completely. At best we are all here to help, at worst to get help for ourselves.

 

You are an intelligent person and that is a bonus for us as you provide an insight into how the mind often works. But we are all present as charming individuals blundering through the universe in our own little capsule. We all do our best to be a link in the support safety net.

 

Cheer up, things can only get better (well in my metaverse anyhow).

 

Sue.

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fking

Sandy, one of these days I want to visit your homeland, Fiji. The golfer, VeeJ Sing is from there, and I just want to go see the land for my self. I bet its a beautiful place. Do you by chance have family members there now?

 

I would like to run into some of your friends. Then make new friends on my own. I would be a snowflake waiting for others to join me.

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smallory
  • Founder and Owner

Sandy, this support group exists only because I couldn't attend a local stroke support group due to time, transportation and other physical limitations. It seems that several thousand other stroke survivors share the same frustrations, especially stroke caregivers, who need information about what to do with decision making, as well as somebody to talk to who understands what they are going through.

 

It's not about megapixels as much as filling a need that many of us have. Sure, meeting in group settings might be ideal for the able bodied but for those who have been devastated by stroke people will take mega pixels, kilobytes or whatever to have human contact and live answers in a time of need.

 

Do you see that we all are not just snowflakes with no meaning but are human beings trying to make the best of the cards we have been dealt. :D

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Guest

Steve, i think that Strokenet is an awesome achievement that could not exist if it were not for the drive, dedication, and genius of someone like you who could conceptualize both the idea of an online Stroke Support group and the mechanics of actually setting up a complicated website, as well as the volunteers who help you organize and run this site. i was in no way trying to lessen this achievement or the continued existence of Strokenet; after all, i am still here, and Strokenet's existence is helping me as well as all of the other people who use this site. i was speaking of my own personal discomfort in not having verbal and nonverbal communication with people whom i've come to regard as friends, despite the issues that i might have with some of them sometimes. maybe part of this discomfort stems from my inclination to have a lot of events occuring simultaneously, being more mobile and verbal than many people on this site (which comes from either a miracle or blind luck, depending on your belief), and living in a megalopolis where support groups for every persuasion, condition, and belief are available (again, either a miracle or luck.) this was just my feeling, and not a reflection of anything concerning Strokenet.

 

about my snowflake analogy-it was a metaphor that was supposed to say that even though we are unique individuals, there is strength in numbers when we are a unified group, with the Higher Power of our choosing in charge. :big_grin:

 

sandy

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