I got a letter in the mail yesterday for a benefit golf tournement from a family I met while Lisa was in ICU. There were 4 families in the waiting room at that time and we all got pretty close. We all shared what our respective family members were going through. I haven't thought about them in a while.

Lisa had a stroke, Walt had a snowmobile accident, Chris had a self-inflicted gunshot wound, and Myra had something wrong with her pancreus (sp). All of them had their ups and downs. Walt did not survive his accident. He fought hard for a week,but lost. That is who the benefit golf tourney is for. His family set up a scholarship fund with the money raised. I saw Chris walk out of the hospital. I remember at the time feeling how unfair it seemed to me. Why should he recover so much when Lisa and Myra were still so sick? Myra's husband and I became very good friends. We were the only ones who could understand what the other was going through. Plus, we spent many a night at the hospital, sleeping on pull out couches. Lisa left for the Mayo Clinic and Myra stayed in Duluth.

The benefit golf tournement came a few months later and it was a welcomed relief for me as I had been spending so much time at the nursing home with Lisa. I played with my father-in-law, a friend of his, and my brother-in-law. We didn't play all that great but had a fun time just being out. Our round finished and we went into the clubhouse for the dinner. A woman walked up to me, smiled and said, "You must be Butch." She hugged me like we had know each other for years and I had no clue who she was. It was Myra. I could not believe it. No way was this the same woman I had seen a few months earlier.

I have to be truthful, but I was so angered at that meeting. A wave of...something, what, self-pity?...came over me. I had to leave. I felt horrible. I felt out of place. I briefly talked to Myra's husband before I left and he knew it was bothering me. I now feel bad for the way I handled it.

So, reading the letter for the tourney this year. I'm looking forward to it. Lisa is planning on attending the dinner afterwards and I'm guessing by that time she will walk to it. We have been using the wheelchair less and less. Living in Minnesota with all the snow, it is a nessesary evil right now. She has been constantly saying she can't wait for spring so she can walk outside. She is still improving. It hasn't been a year since she had her stroke. Things are good.

My birthday is next month. Not a "big" one, that's next year. But, I have been hearing talk about doing something special for it. I hope not. I don't want anything. No surprise party, dinner, nothing. I'm planning on getting myself an I-pod. I love those things. Strap it to your arm and go running. Oh, I almost forgot. I tried to register for the half marathon this year, but the race was full. Bummer!! So, instead, I am being adventurous an doing a FULL MARATHON. It's a little different because it's not a road race. It's trail running. There are a few people where I work who do it and say it's a great time. I will keep you guys posted as my training progresses.

I still have been trying to make it into the chat room some night. You guys are on so early. I am somewhat of a night owl, and every time I go in there, nobody's home. Some day.

That's all I have for now.

Later, Butch