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Trying to get Non-strokers to understand...


sgriffin

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Today I seemed to want to talk and begin to open up about what's going on in head to others. It's amazing how all this (a stroke) is viewed by family and friends who never had a stroke. Although they try to understand they REALLY don't. We all know a stroke is a stroke is a stroke, but if you don't have physical deficiets others will not think it ever happened. I asked my BF last night am I the same person as before the stroke and his answer surprised me he said "yeah". Sometimes I want to say hey I had a stroke so I'm a little slower and things are going to take me longer to complete. I yearn to be the old me more than anything. I have a few friends that I beg to make me get out the house and when they do I always feel like crap and say not tonight. I don't know if I make myself ill or what, but the fatigue and headaches feel real.

 

I don't want sympathy from anyone just understanding. I tried to explain to my mother this very evening that I am working on the acceptance of having had a stroke and it was amazing some of the things she suggested. Most of the problem I have stem from the fatigue. The fatigue stems from the insomnia...I have sleeping pills I can take but I try not to because I would like a natural nights sleep without dependencey. She really believes that because I am not active enough I am not tired at night...now granted that is true, but I'm not active because of the stoke. I only do what I can because when I do more I get super clumpsy and then wipe out for days to follow. I would give anything to sleep at night and then wake up in the morning and function, but usually by morning I'm already awake from the morning before and I watch the news at 5:30am sleep a couple of hours and up either due to my son getting himself ready (I sleep very light and he's 15) or taking him to school.

 

I tried to explain my brain is damaged but she said she knows that but :blah_blah: . So I stopped talking as I usually do. I know this is going to take a long, long time.

 

 

 

 

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