I really didn't feel well today. I have a migraine AGAIN. And today my heart kept racing - fluttering almost. Probably from the stress at work.

Pity me, I work with my parents.

My mother says it's all homones -"You're peri-menopausal - it happens to all of us at your age"

My mother is delusional.

"if you didn't smoke".... "if you didn't drink coffee" ... "if you didn't drink wine"... "if you didn't eat red meat" ...

I want to yell "What Mom, if I didn't do those things I wouldn't have had a stroke??!!!"

My mother sees my stroke as a mere inconvienience. I get the impression she's almost embarrassed that I had a stroke because she ignores it. She likes to pretend I've recovered fully from what she's called my "incident".

My father on the other hand, sees it daily. It annoys him that I can remember the phone number of the family that lived down the street from us when I was 10, and I can't remember the source for a piece of crystal that I purchased 3 months ago. It irritates him when my sentences are incomplete or the words are garbled. It almost angers him that it takes me more time to do, what I used to do without thought.

There are times --- like today --- when I wonder if either of them realize just how difficult it is for me? I work 9 hours, and come home so exhausted I'm in tears.

And yet, I can't leave, (Yes, Pam I'm ready for the lecture) because, I don't just support my husband and kids. My parent's livlihood is dependant upon me. Our employee's expect me to be the 'leader" and count on me to cover thier "assets" so to speak.

I need to borrow Kristen's cape. I need to strip off my suit and become "Super Stroker." Able to handle a crisis with courage, able to confront the bad things with super powers, able to change the company with compassion.

Today, I don't have courage, compassion or super powers. I have a headache that won't go away and parent's that are a pain in the neck.

~V