It has been a while since I have been in here to write. It is getting harder to write anything down. I do come in and read every now and then just to keep up on everyone, but I know that I have missed a lot. I have been on a journey that has been a long soul searcher, and I am afraid that it is far from over. I can truly understand how one can take their own life, but I know that is not something I can do. I understand why people drink or do drugs to get away from the realities of life, but that also is not for me. I was made a strong person, and somewhere I lost a lot of that strength. I want it back and I want it now. As in the poem "Footprints" my foot prints are not there because Jesus is carrying me right now. I have to believe that someone can carry me for a while.