I do think there is a place where you need to say enough is enough. Early in Ray's recovery I told Ray his mother didn't live here anymore. He would have to use his savings and hire a nurse if he wanted someone to run around after him all day. I then walked down the road and sat in the bus shelter for an hour. Cold, wet and miserable nights are not really the right time to run away from home.

By the time I get back inside he was kind of apologetic. He has never been as demanding since. I think husbands, like toddlers, try you to see how much sh** you will put up with sometimes.

I think bipolar seems the behaviour pattern so maybe consult his doctor about his meds?

Sue. :friends:

Kim,

I had a "deal" with Rob in those first few weeks. He had to first try to do the task himself before he asked me. It was my "deal" not his. This was of course within reason and never intended to compromise his safety.

Maybe trying what Sue did will help, do you have a bus stop close by to go sit at? My icons don't work.... so I have to give you a written hug.......

Karen

Kim

I'm sorry you had a bad day, but I totally understand how you feel. Some days you can't help but wonder just how their brain is working or how much they really understand. Gary has days where he also is very demanding. If I don't have a handkerchief or wash cloth handy for him when he's sitting on the sofa, he sits and pounds his fist and motions to wipe his mouth until I get one for him. I tell him over and over again that he needs to practice swallowing so he won't drool and then he won't need the cloth. It just doesn't compute!! The same goes with wiping his mouth with a napkin - he either waits for me to hold up the napkin or he leaves the napkin lay on the table and puts his mouth down on it instead of picking it up. I have days where I want to give up, like I'd get a better response from talking to a brick wall, but I do it over and over and over again and hope that one of these days something will "click" in there and he'll remember on his own.

Sarah

You guys made me laugh--it was funny to hear you going through the same stuff we go through here. :Tantrum: I don't know why it was funny--maybe because it's reassuring. It can't be J just trying to drive me around the bend and up the wall after all.

:beer:

Oh my Goodness - another who's bi-polar husband has suffered strokes. Just when I thought I was the only one, darn it all anyway - I'm not as special as I thought.

Now I don't want to be sexist, and I don't want to bash husbands but Bill was never really good about doing anything around the house the way I wanted it done anyway. Now I get to do things (EVERYTHING mind you) the way I want it done - be careful what you wish for, I guess!

This man who always wore starched shirts - and even his jeans are starched still wants to look just so - but just can't feed himself neatly anymore - it reminds me of when my kids were little. I have a choice though - I could feed him (his preference) and there would be no mess - or I could set him up to feed himself (my choice) and clean up the mess afterward. He doesn't talk constantly - but he never did that before - he just planned and connived!!

We recently found a Vietnamese restaurant that he just LOVES. I can't prepare anything he likes and he doesn't want to eat anyplace but the Vietnamese restaurant. He even made reservations there for Mother's Day - isn't that sweet? I hate the food. Sorry, but I do. I drink iced tea. So, yesterday I told him NO Vietnamese for Mother's Day. We also went through a bout with Italian food. I think it's a little of the bi-polar thing - mania......obsessing on a single thing.

I don't know Kim what is going on with your husband....but I see so much of Bill in it that I do wonder if it's some of the bi-polar issue. Do you see his psychiatrist on a consistent basis? One funny thing with Bill is that he "can't remember" how he acts when we get to the psychiatrist's office , or any other time for that matter. I wonder why can he remember that d*** restaurant then????? Oh well - thanks for the blog. I'm really not all that special after all - and it isn't all about me either!

Love,

Ann

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