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1st Entry - My Mother's Hemorrhagic Stroke


dnsmith1

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About My Mom,

 

My Mom had a hemorrhagic stroke when she was 71 years old - July 8, 2004. At the time, I did not know this is what she had, but now I know so much information, and not enough at the same time.

 

The day before my Mother's stroke, she was out cutting her grass; she has quite a large yard. I noticed a bit of slur in her speech, but thought perhaps it was all due to her being outside all day long. Little did I know... The next morning I called my Mother and I did not get an answer by phone. My sister and I went to her house and it was all locked up with her car in the garage. Something was very wrong.... My sister had already called 911. My Mother was breathing but could not be awakened. An x-ray showed a large bleed. My Mother had a craniatomy for evacuation of the bleed.

 

Although my Mother woke up that night after the surgery, it was hardly much at all. Mom squeezed my hand when I asked her if she was scared. She didn't open her eyes for it seems like a week or two. The hospital had put a trach in and a feeding tube by this time.

 

My Mother now, almost two years after, still has a trach and a feeding tube. She does not speak, nor does it appear that she tries. She does speak to me through facial expressions and squeezing the hand and movement of left leg. My Mother tries very hard. It appears that she is still healing, but is very weak. She can shrug her shoulders slightly, wiggle her toes in both feet, move her left leg quite a bit - not enough to put any weight on, move her body very slightly. I know this isn't very much, but it is a whole lot to me. I read others stories and just wish my Mother could do as much. I am very thankful for what she is doing.

 

I work with my Mother every night I am able to. I exercise her body, give her a wash up, talk to her, watch TV with her. Most recently I purchased brainfingers for my Mom so that she could operate a computer. I have been working with her on this for about three weeks now. My Mom can't move hardly at all. Brainfingers allows her to operate a computer by brain waves. If I get it adjusted well for my Mother, she will possibly be able to write a message. She has not so far. The one thing she does do well with it is play a game called pong. She has won at this game, one time as of today - May 4, 2006.

 

My Mother did not get good prognosis after her surgery. She went from a hospital to one day in a nursing facility. My Mom left the hospital where she had her craniatomy with a bladder infection. It was so bad that the nursing facility thought she was having seizures and sent her back to the hospital the next morning. After being in that hospital for about a month, my Mother was sent to another nursing facility - it was then, September 2004. The nursing facility refuses to give my Mother any therapy because they say she doesn't show any progress. Fortunately, at the end of last year (2005) I was able to get some therapy for my Mom for about three months. Since, my Mom didn't progress enough, the therapy was stopped.

 

I have a nursing agency come in the nursing facility to work with my Mother twice a week - CNAs come in and do range of motion for two hours; I work with Mom every day in the evening. I have a full time job.

 

My Mom can not sit up on her own. I sit her up every night by placing something behind her back. I test her ability to sit by herself, but she is not able to do so yet.

 

I have used a tilt board with my Mother and have various other equipment I use with her; exerciser, various massagers, biomove. All I believe are very helpful, even though my Mother isn't able to function on her own.

 

I love my Mom very much. I believe anything is possible as long as she is alive. I will continue to work with her as long as she is alive. She seems to enjoy my being there.

 

I don't know what my Mom knows. I know that I car very much for her.

 

I am writing this in hopes that someone might see this and give me a suggestion. My Mom is just so very weak. It seems like she wants to do more, but just doesn't have the strength.

 

I am a Certified Nursing Assistant (CNA), so I am not afraid to try things with my Mom. Sometimes I feel I should have recognized that my Mother was having a stroke, but I can not continually beat myself up about that. I just want the best for her. I know I will continue to try.

 

I accept that my Mother is severely disabled. I don't believe that means that she has to stop enjoying what life she has. Tomorrow my Mother will turn 73 years old - May 5, 2006. I have scheduled to take her to get a manicure and a pedicure. Mom always did this for herself. Although, I have been doing this for my Mother, I am no professional. It is not easy to transport my Mom. The city has a vehicle for the disabled that will pick them up and take them where they need to go. My Mother has to have an assistant. She has me.

 

I am very thankful and grateful to God to be able to write this message today. My Mother is still alive. I have strength and knowledge give her assistance.

 

I know my Mother would not choose to be this way. Who would? We are given life. It is a gift. We accept it when it is good. Do we just turn our backs on it when it is not so good?

 

If you have read this. I thank you very much for your time. Please leave me any and all suggestions, as I am willing to try anything that may help my Mother, as long as I do no feel it will hurt her. I love my Mother very much. I want her always to know that she always has me.

 

:huh: Until next time! Don't give up on what you believe in and never quit trying!

 

 

 

9 Comments


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hi dnssmith1:

 

I am stroke survivor 2, all strokes are so different and how you recover is based on our injury, I don't have any suggestionfor you to try, one thing I have to say it, your mom is very lucky to have you, who is not afraid of stroke related disability

 

once again it makes me believe we all have surrounded by angels among us, and welcome to blog world

 

Asha (who has her hubby and kido as my own angels)

 

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Dear D,

 

Your mom is really lucky to have you nearby. It must be tiring for you sometimes. Good for you for hanging in there.

 

My husband had a stroke nearly 10 years ago. About 6 months ago, he took his first steps without using a cane. He practiced every week. Now he can walk across the room to the bathroom and back. Because he can take steps without the cane, he can carry a cup in his hand and get himself a drink of

water--or walk across the room to where I hide the chocolate! So don't give up!

 

T

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.

 

Hi D and welcome to our blog community,

 

I must say I wish I had a daughter as caring and devoted as you are. I, too, have no suggestions. It seems to me that you are already do as much as anyone could and then some. You are also giving your mom a better quality of life than most people in nursing homes have so I hope if you are harboring any quilt feelings for having to use their services, don't.

 

As for not recognizing the signs of a stroke, there are tons of stories on this website that are similar. My husband was at a party with 50 poeople when his started and no one knew. A few people remarked that he wasn't talking his as much as normal and he chalked it up to a headache. He was prond to headaches so that didn't seem unusual.

 

Again, Welcome!

 

Jean

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As everyone else noted, your Mom is very lucky to have such a devoted, caring daughter. May I go along with her to the mani-Pedi party? My husband did that for me when I got out of rehab, and it felt better than anything I had experienced. It made me feel a little half normal. Thank you for sharing your story with us. See you around soon!

~Amy

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Hi D and welcome to the blog community!

The only suggestion I have is never stop doing the excersises. I'm 4 years post stroke and my arm has function starting to return, I haven't stopped doing the excersises for 4 years. Stroke recovery is slow and measured in inches, but it doesn't sound as if you're giving up..... you know it is slow going.

Wish your mom a happy birthday for me and she is lucky to have you.

Pam

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Welcome again to the Blog community, keep up the exercise and therapy much as possible and insurance will allow. Happy Birthday to her!! Stay positive, I feel she will overcome with you by her side.

 

I had a bleed 2 years ago. Was in hospital over 3 months, then home in a wheel chair. I can walk slowly with a cane. Have had therapy most of the 2 years.

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Don't think your mom doesn't appreciate everything you are doing for her and with her. I remember well being afraid my hubbie would give up on me...She appreciates everything even if she can't say it..you're great for being there for her... :Clap-Hands: :Clap-Hands: :Clap-Hands: :cheer: :cheer: :cheer:

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Hello achandra,

 

Thank u for taking the time to write.

 

I find it remarkable to discover survivors of strokes. I have been going to as many stroke group meetings as I can to find out ways to help my Mother. I learn so much each time I go.

 

I am also very lucky to have my Mom. My Mother has taught me so much about being strong, and even today she is still teaching me. She is a great Mom.

 

Again, thank u for taking the time.

 

I wish the best for u. If u do ever think of anything, please remember me.

 

dnsmith1

 

 

 

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Dear T,

 

Thank u for writing.

 

I feel lucky to have my Mom as well.

 

I rarely get tired at all. Every time I go to my Mother's room, I get this burst of energy. I think it is just the joy of being able to spend more time with her.

 

Sorry to hear of your husbands stroke. But, I am very glad to hear of his progress. Your story just helps me to know that anything is truly possible if u try. I won't give up. Tell your husband thank u. Because he has continued to try, u have this story to share with me. I am truly thankful for u sharing.

 

I won't give up. I hope my Mother continues to try as well.

 

:)

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