I recently had my 3rd anniversary since my first stroke, or should say celebrated the 3rd anniversary since my first stroke. Yes, I think celebrate is the right word, for I now celebrate everyday I wake up breathing as if it was a gift.

I have heard some people say "We have worked hard all our lives, raised a family and saved and planned for our retirement and then this happened, why? just when we were finally going to realize our plans and enjoy what we have worked so hard for most of our lives." Since my stroke I have had to accept certain facts, like that, bad things can and do happen to good people and that our best laid plans do fall asunder and That happiness cant be penciled in on the calender it must be lived and nourished daily. Happiness for the most part is a choice ! It is an emotion we do have some control over. I have had heart attacks, strokes, blood clots and just got my 18 th Stent, and what all of that has taught me is that life is to fleeting and to short not to enjoy every second of it to the best of my abilities every day. To do the things that make me happy, to live every day of my life with joy in my heart and appreciation for all the wondrous things I can touch, see, smell and hear. I didn't plan to become a Stroke survivor at age 51, but I am one.

I went to one of my Doctors the other day and ask him for a straight answer to a question. I ask him with him knowing my medical history,if he could tell me how long did he think I had to live. He answered by saying " I have known people like you who have beat the odds and lived 20 or more years, but if I were you I would be getting my affairs in order." I was surprised at how I felt and reacted to his blunt answer. I wasn't angry, or afraid, or shocked at his candour. What I did feel was a sense of peace and empowerment over my life. I know I cant choose the moment of my death, but I can control how I choose to spend what time I have left on this earth and I have chosen to spend it living and celebrating every sunset, every spring flower, the sound of a childs laughter and the sight of a beautiful night sky with all the infinite number of stars.

Death like life surrounds us. Everything that lives will someday die. It is all of our destiny to someday die, but we can choose how we live that time we do have. Happiness is not something that we can plan for way way in the future. If you want happiness in your life you need to start being happy now so when the time comes to finally live and do all the things we have planned for we will know how. None of us can predict the day and time of our death, we can only choose how we will live until that time arrives. I believe that death is a part of life, it is inevitable. So why fear it? If we fear our death we will also fear life. I choose to embrace both. Isn't the birth of a baby kind of like a death? I mean if it were I and I had warm comfortable and safe enviroment and all of a sudden I am violent cast from that state into a world filled with lights and these giants hovering over me clipping and probing I might be a little upset, but thats life for ya. So don't expect to die with dignity. Because I don't believe there is any dignity in death, it just is what it is.

I guess the morale to my story would be.... If you are killing yourself with hard work so you can someday in the future lay back, relax and finally do all the things you have always wanted to do, Just remember that in the final analysis, It Isn't reaching our final destination that brings us the feelings of accomplishment, joy and happiness. It was the memories and lessons we picked up on the journey. " Live the journey" !!!

By: Foxnix a Survivor