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C'mon, I've been busy...

WfnShow330

Entry posted by WfnShow330

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In the middle of last month, Lisa had a nice week-long hospital stay for a viral infection that she just could not shake. So, of course, it was trips down to the hospital every night after work. Man, I hate the hospital now. You know something is wrong when staff on different floors know you by first name. She is fine though. She did slide a little on the therapy side of things being in bed for a week, but we're working on that.

 

I haven't had much time to blog anything. Work has been crazy and home keeps me hopping. I have been really pissy lately. I don't know what it is. I wish I did. I hate feeling that way but cannot help it from overtaking me. It's just little things.

 

Case in point. Lisa's mother has family dinner every Thursday. For the past year. EVERY THURSDAY NIGHT!!! As you all know, I golf when I can and I joined a league at the Country Club on Thursday night. I have to go right after work. I figured our son can bring Lisa up and they can have dinner every week and not have to worry about cooking. I purposely signed up for Thursday night with that in mind.

 

Her mother called last week to tell Lisa that she was changing dinner to Wednesday night. For apparently no reason. Unbelievable!!! Do I seem selfish for going nuts? Why am I the only one who has a problem with this? It seems to me like her mother doesn't want to be bothered. Lisa's father has been a HUGE help, taking Lisa to therapy 2 day a week. But, her mom is always doing things like this.

 

I don't know. I just feel her parents should be more involved to give me some time off. Lisa has been asking me alot if I feel she is a bother. I always say no. To me, she's not. A pain in the ass once in a while, sure. But, not a bother.

 

I think what chaps me the most is, how can I say this? Why am I the ONLY one who worries so much? The only person who is actively taking a part in her recovery. Everyone preaches you need to do this or you should be doing that, and then they disappear, leaving me holding the bag.

 

As with all of us, being a caregiver (I hate that term but have not thought of a better one) has totally consumed me. It's all my life revolves around now. I have accepted my role for her. She needs me, and I need her. I just wish not all the time.

 

Off of page 3,

 

Butch

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jriva

 

Glad to see your update, Butch.

 

I can see why you resent your mother-in-law changing the weekly dinner nights to Wednesday. You obviously need the space from the family and feel that Lisa would be safe and happy spending that time with her folks. Your mother-in-law probably feels she is doing something nice for you and Lisa by working around your golf league. Any chance you can be honest with your in-laws about your feelings, what ever they may be? Tell them that you wish they could be more involved in giving you time off from the pressure of constantly being in charge of Lisa's well being? It might be a tense conversation but they sound like they are coming from a place of heart and love and sometimes people just don't have a clue what we caregivers really need in the way of support. People just don't understand what the pressure is like to put another person's well being first 24/7 as most of us caregivers do in the first few years. Then comes a time when we instinctively know we have to think of ourselves first on occasion and by then the die is set and it's hard to break down the wall we've helped construct around ourselves. Well, I've rambled enough.

 

Jean

 

 

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Katiedid

Hi Butch,

 

I can see why you're looking forward to the golf season. Getting out in the spring and summer air is a real relief.

 

My immediate reaction to your story was the same as Jean's--that Lisa's mom probably rearranged dinner so that you could continue to be part of it and still play golf. I bet she'd rather keep in on Thursday if you explained it to her.

 

So what is the course like, and what is your handicap? Do you get to take your kids out to play as well or are they too young? Are you part of a regular foursome? Sounds like a plan!

 

It seems from your blog that Lisa is making almost literal strides forward. I'm sure you are not asking for suggestions, but too bad: have you considered that if Lisa and the kids are home on Thursdays without you, someone could put a Hungryman's frozen meal in the microwave and then move it on to a plate? We do that from time to time and no one falls apart on a permanent basis. :wicked:

 

T

 

 

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