I've just replied to a worried caregiver who is feeling guilty that she is taking a break while her husband goes off with other family members. Ray has just been for his second three day break in a month, a never before experienced event. I planned both my breaks so I had some ME time. And we both reap the benefit of that. Ray comes home from a break where he has had a lot of good food, entertainment, company, to a much rested caregiver.

On my first break I visited a friend for lunch, left her mid-afternoon and drove down and stayed overnight with my sister. We got to have a chat about some of the family matters on her turf, after a meal, when she was feeling comfortable. We got some agreement that way. I spent the second day with her till lunchtime. Then I came back home and did some shopping, then went out with another girlfriend for dinner. The Thursday I spent doing some house cleaning and on the Friday morning Ray was home.

This three days I spent differently. As soon as Ray had gone to camp on Tuesday I set off by bus and train to visit my Sydney family. It took me almost three hours to do an hour and a half trip but I was relaxed when I got there not fraught from fighting my way through city traffic. The last twenty minute walk up two fairly steep hills towing my suitcase was the big exercise but worth it to say I got all the way there without help.

The two nights with my daughter's family allowed me to spend a lot of time after school with my two grandchildren, Christopher who is six goes to the school next door to the Salvation Army College. He likes school but is a bit of a dreamer rather than a high achiever but will make a lot of friends as he is kind and helpful in his attitude to others. Naomi who is two goes to Daycare. She is walking, talking and a loving little girl. I really enjoyed reading to her, playing with her , entering her little world. It really did me the world of good to be there with them. The second afternoon we went to a nearby park and played on all the climbing equipment and it was like the days when I had Christopher here and we just had the best time.

I came home when they went to school on Thursday and went out to dinner with friends last night. It is lovely to just cut up MY food and talk and laugh and enjoy the company of others without having to look after Ray. I wouldn't feel right if I left him at home to go out and celebrate with friends but when he is on a break away and has good care then it is time for me to have fun by myself.

Taking care of another person is hard, there are times when it is full-on, full of worry, stress and plain hard work. If the opportunity comes to have a break and get some of that "ME time" everyone urges you to get, do it. It can only make you a better, more relaxed caregiver.