hmmm... its been 10 long days since m,y 46 year old father suffered a hemorrhagic stroke to the right side of his brain much to the horror of my family around me. he was given emergency surgery... 6 hours after it happened...too long in my opinion... given a 50/50 chance of survival, was placed on three types of sedation and his ICP was monitored. It was very scary for me at first. the first time i saw him lying there hooke dup to all these machines it was too much, i stood about 3 metres away and just cried and cried and cried. it broke my heart. my dad wasn't supposed to look like that, helpless. He's my dad you know? I'm only 15, my brother is only 12. My brother was good, he held his hand, wished him luck. We waited for hours, we were told the surgery could be as long as 4 hours. i was... okay during the surgery, i thought that he was definitely going to be okay, a little too mcuh wishful thinking i hope. being european, my grandparents were beside themselves, i just didn't know how to handle it. my dad's fiance was so strong, my goodness that woman has been amazing. four hours later, after the surgery, out came the neurosurgeon, known to us as only christian. he explained to us that my dad had a blood clot the size of an orange in his brain and a sever blled. his chances were just above 50/50, and things weren't, at that stage looking good. i was very scared. but i knew my dad had his age and fitness and excellent diet on his side. i was scared *beep*... angry too. scared not for me, but for my brother, for my grandparents, for my dad himself. he was in one of the happiest times of his life... about to get married, a new house, our relationship was improving. and i could definitely see a change in him. dad was never the type to show his emotions, or affections but he still encourage my brother and i...but still it wasnt the best relationship. i was scared that my dad would die without knowing that i loved him. without knowing that i really did care about him, what he thought and that i really did want his guidance in my life. i was scared. the next few days were critical. keeping that intercranial pressure down. it got easier to go and visit him, talk to him all that kind of thing. his pressure kept dropping, he was stablised all that kind of thing. we saw more improvements everyday. he was taken off his sedation after a week. off the ventilator. he was moving around a bit. yesterday was crap though. because he has high blood pressure, that was a bit of a worry for the doctors and also what they thought was a chest infection, because of plegm that he may have coughed up. however, yesterday, his heart rate began to increase rapidly and he stopped initiating his own breathing. this was a major set back for us. we got very scared and wondered what the hell was going on. we were worried it was his brain shutting down. the doctors came in, ran some tests the whole lot and it was found that his chest infection was misdiagnosed. he actually has pneumonia. so everything was able to be sorted out, however he did have to be placed on sedation once again. today was good. he moved around a lot, seemed to be annoyed at the tubes in his nose and was blinking a fair bit. his pupils still aren't responding though =(. the doctors don't say anything and it becomes so frustrating. im scared to think he may never wake up... or if he does he is brain dead. i try to keep thinking positively, but sometimes my mind wanders. he looks so peaceful in the bed. my hope is still here... if you have a story similar please please leave a comment, i would love to know your story, your familie's story, just to give me some reality of what's going on.