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Coping.........or not.......

chrisratty

Entry posted by chrisratty

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:( Ok I've given you the background of Trev's stroke & brought you up to date with what's happened/happening now.

 

I will try & explain how I've coped, or tried to cope with all that's happened. This will be difficult because I don't want to sound as if I'm always moaning about my lot etc. I just need to rant a little sometimes.

 

I think I was numb for the first few days felt things were happening that I had no control over. We were fortunate Trev was chosen to be placed on a drug trial that only certain centres in England were involved in & he was given a clot busting drug within 6hrs of his stroke. This was a harrowing experience as I had to give permission, 1% of the trial patients get worse & die BUT he could have also recovered quicker no one knows how a person will react. I had all this to cope with at the same time as seeing my loved one so ill.

 

I tried to always keep cheerful & Trev coped very well, using his sense of humour to carry him through. During the first week I also attended my graduation ceromony as I'd completed my Social Work degree that July. It saddend me to atttend without Trev cheering me on. But as usual I coped without showing my real feelings.

 

His progress seemed so slow that at times I "lost my cool" with the therapists, even Trev himself came under fire.....I am such a selfish person at times...why can't be brave & caring & accepting...... :(

 

Enough for now will continue again soon.

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HostAsha

chris:

 

It has been interesting reading and learning about you from your blogs. I will tell you from survivor prospective and my hubby's caregiver point of view. we all go through different coping atragies. In my first 6 months we had lot of regrets, things would have been better if only I had gotton TPA or other 100 things, over the time I realised it is okay to accept what has happened and forgive everyone including myself and move on with life, some things are destined to happen, something good I had to learn from it, hey best thing happened due to my stroke was that my marriage became more stronger, and I got to spend lot of time with my family instead of being stuck in ratrace of job

 

Asha(survivor at 36)

 

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swilkinson

I agree with Asha. I would go over and over what we could have done to prevent Ray from having the strokes in 1999. But blaming him and blaming myself only hindered acceptance. In the end we just have to deal with the problem in front of us to the best of our ability.

 

Mind you I still have the same problem every time things change now. Guess I just have to battle my way through every crisis. Sometimes, like you, I feel as if it would be easier if I could just go with the flow.

 

Sue. :friends:

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chrisratty

Thanks Asha for the comments...yes good things do come from the bad...since Trev's stroke he is back in touch with his daughters & we see his eldest, Liz & granddaughter Leila regularly, she calls me "Nan Chris". Our whole relationship is stronger as well.

 

Glad I've started this "Blog" :friends:

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