In a wheelchair, unable to get out without being hoisted, and 1 handed some things are physically impossible. While I agree with you and have tried to do as you say, I simply cannot get upstairs and hoover my kids rooms for example. What I was trying to say and I think you've failed to grasp, some things there really is no way to do no matter how much will. Nice sentiments in the comment but not thought all the way through. It will, thankfully, slowly improve though.

I don't need or want any pity. What I pointed out was that some things are impossible and no matter what noble sentiments are offered cannot make anything involving say stair climbing possible. In that sense I stand by my first comment. Rather than being a pity party it is a fact, I am sorry but I find that term pity party offensive. Same way I find the "poor little Diane" type comments offensive. I am not poor, I am luckier than many and very grateful for all I have, which is used to the full. If that's how my blog is truely seen I'm having second thoughts on keeping it so public, it is after all therapeutic to write down your frustrations but they needn't be read and certainly not pitied.

Hi Diane:

I CAN NOT even begin to image what life is like, seated in a wheelchair 24/7, only the use of one hand, not being active as you say you once were. I JUST CAN'T relate to that.

HOWEVER, I CAN 'offer' the advise that, yes, there IS light at the end of the tunnel. NO, it is NOT a train 'coming your way'. I also understand where you would be bored - given the situation you are in. I don't know if your chair is motorized or not. If it is, are you able to go outside on your own, or is it too dangerous?? Can you maybe do jigsaw puzzles using one hand ??

I appreciate your 'cry for help' and I believe that by blogging and 'venting' your frustrations, people will offer encouragement and suggest things that MIGHT keep you from becoming bored. At least, I would hope so.

I believe you said it has been 18 months since your stroke. It seems like an eternity for you and I can understand that. Progress will come 'in small steps' patience IS the key. My stroke was 8 years and a month ago. I only have numbness and no feeling on my ENTIRE left side. YES it is frustrating and I do wish, at times, that my stroke WAS WORSE.

WHY ?? Then I could 'relate' to others on this site and be 'more in-tune' with their struggles, trials and triumphs.

I DON'T consider when people are blogging 'negative remarks, that they are 'having a pity party'. Human nature is to sometimes think that 'woe is me'. The feelings ARE OKAY, but you also need to find things that will 'pull' you out of that 'muck and mire'.

I'm rambling, but I just want you to know that I will be praying for you. Keep your chin up, and remember that there ARE others who are 'experiencing' conditions worse than you. I would also invite you to 'visit' the chatrooms at night. Spelling and typos DO NOT COUNT. As far as I'm concerned, although we had a stroke, we 'are considered equal, whether it be in the chat room, on the Strokenet Message Board or blogging. One hand typing IS fine too.

AND, this is for you :friends:

Denny

You are going through s tough time, and you are right, the days arre very long -

I am a 20 yr. survivor, and applaud you :Clap-Hands: for all you do. Just think how lucky you are to be able to drive, flat tire or not -

Maybe if you occupy your days with an online school, your days won't be so long -

GOOD LUCK, GOD BLESS :cheer:

June, from CT :big_grin:

Seems your misjudging how I think? I have NEVER used my stroke as an excuse and wouldn't dream of doing so. I play scrabble and cribbage online with a group numbering hundreds, the vast majority of whom don't even realise I had a stroke. NOTHING that is remotely possible isn't done, crafts, needlework, jigsaws, I've done them all at times and am determined to do things for myself, to my family's eternal frustration. There is no rut to be stuck in, I simply wrote of the things that are a physical impossibility, my one and only limitation. Sometimes people write things simply to get them out of their system. That was my case, no ulterior motive. That's all I'll say for now, there is no pity, no feeling sorry, I'm here and grateful to be. I hope I've not offended anyone, certainly not intentional and sorry if I did.

Diane:

I can understand your frustration. I understand your 'lack' of physical mobility. I DO understand how this can 'affect' your 'mindset' and I give you all the encourtagement to 'seek' out things that motivate you and give you great pleasure.

Yes, I agree that the computer 'masks' our physical problems. That IS a good thing. That's why I said that on here, each individual IS CONSIDERED 'equal'.

No, you did not offend me. No you did not hurt my feelings. I'm doing my best to make you feel comfortable in what you are experiencing at the moment.

Keep on blogging. If people have a problem with what you are trying to say, that IS their problem.

Denny

veggie,

My husband has been in a wheelchair for six years and I know for a fact---even though he can't talk, write or type---that boredom is a MAJOR issue for him. Let's face it, he was crawling all over heavy equipment pre-stroke, taking them a part and putting them back together and doing other guy things that he loved. Why wouldn't someone who was that active and who has had their mobility taken away from them have days when boredom is a factor? Heck, everyone gets bored, even those of us who can walk and talk. I know I do.

Having your family put together a craft box for you is a good idea. Keep on them until they do it. And whenever possible, go out with your family and friends. Early on in my husband's recovery process a wise OT told me to get Don out of the house as often as possible and I took that advice seriously. I believe it's one of the reasons why he's so good natured, everyone needs a change of scenery.

Going to physio is great but I hope it's not your only form of outside field trips. If so, ask your family to take you shopping or out to lunch afterwards until they get used to viewing you as someone who can be 'portable.' Someday you might not need that chair but in the mean time doing things outside the house can help break up your week. Boredom is a fact of life and something we all fight against. I just counted....I wrote three blogs myself with 'bored' or 'boredom' in the title.

Keep blogging and publishing. I can't tell you how much it helps me to hear thoughts from someone in wheelchair. And I didn't in any way view what you wrote as a pity party. I have a niece who is even more disabled from MS than Don is from his stroke. She has trouble lifting her arms to turn on a light switch from her wheelchair. She has aids that put her in the chair in the morning and aids to take her out at night to put her to bed. It's a different way of life and when she says "I can't pick up a book to read," I know it's a statement of fact, not a pity party.

Jean

hey Diane, i have an idea for fighting boredom.....

my dad has been in a wheelchair for 2 years 11 months from a catastrophic stroke (he had a second 2 years ago,) on a permanent feeding tube, can't drink, can't eat except for baby food, paralyzed in his trunk and therefore immobilized, moved with a Hoya lift, incontinent, extremely dysarthric, sometimes (expressive) aphasic, recovering from a case of necrotizing fasciitis b/c he has very poor circulation in his extremeties, can only take Tylenol for pain, has his sores debrided without anesthesia, etc, etc, etc, with this condition being somewhat permanent b/c he is 85 1/2 and has multiple organ difficulties. he is VERY bored sometimes, but he keeps his spirits and intellect up (he is lucid and not demented except for a loss of executive functioning that happened pre-stroke b/c of radiation tx for a brain tumor) by playing extremely intense and manipulative mind games with my mom, his primary caregiver, who is actually much more demented than he is. he then reports to me, sometimes in my mom's presence, how much she has messed up on a particuluar day. (my mom doesn't care what he says.) he also has the entire digital cable TV Guide memorized and likes to catch my mom when she doesn't remember what he wants to watch on a particular hour of the day. he gets a great deal of intellectual stimulation by playing these mind games and therefore is not usually bored.

(i am NOT making this up.)

i am not blogging this to minimize your situation at all. i am for the following reasons:

1) there is always somebody else who has a worse situation than yours;

2) there is always a way to do SOMETHING to change your attitude and make at least titanium coins (if gold or silver are too far) out of maggots and rot;

3) the only time there is no hope is when you're dead.

BTW, my dad has come back from two comas, one persistent vegetative state, two minimally conscious states, and one bout of locked-in syndrome. he just beat a year-long bout with necrotizing fasciitis. he doesn't want to die, and somehow finds a way to live and improve. he recently started reading again.

sandy

Dianne,

maybe this wont help as I ahve not been in your situation. In the early days When I couldnt do much I started reading again very slowly. Jeffery Archer was very easy to read.....I knew he would be good for something. Kane and Abel was good. I went on to read the prodigal daughter.

I used to do a lot of word games to help my expressive aphasia.

It was company I missed mostly. I used to walk slowly to the library have a seat read the newspaper and walk back.

Is there any form of dial a ride or groups you can join who take you out. have a word with social services.

I have copied a link to some of the services that exist in Aberdeen, maybe your local council will have the same.

Choices

I hopre this helps.

Keep on doing what you are doing it will get better. There is a world of difference being 18mths post stroke and 3-4 yrs post stroke

All the best

Mary

I find your blogs really interesting please dont stop blogging....and its nice to have a fellow Brit on board

:Clap-Hands: Be glad you are alive, I am and your days won't be as long, if you get busy - try a project or go back to school -

What has happened to us is heartbreaking, but the only thing we can do is to keep busy and to never indulge into those pity parties as they take away energy that you could use in your recovery -

GOOD LUCK, GOD BLESS

June :blush: :2cents: