This blog was set invisible at Clark's (the bloggers) request. He has a new one.

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*beep* off and wanting to fight, feelings i haven't had since high school. There are times in a man's life maybe a woman's also where on physical violence seems to lighten the load we carry. It took me one broken nose and two chipped teeth to realize that pehaps this wasn't the best of courses to take, but because I was bigger than almost any in school 6'5" 195 I mostly got my way. Bully you say not really I got in more fights defended guys who were picked on than I ever did by my own instigation. In fact the wast fight I ever got into was with abunch of motorcycle dim wits who were getting the jolly's off by picking on a kid with m.s. hell he had a hard time walking let alone fighting, well I jumped right in and got the living crap beat out of me and even though I was down with blood pouring from my mouth and nose they continued to try and play rugby with my head resulting in a serious concussion, mt first brain injury. But that's 40 years ago and has nothing to do with me wanting to fight now. Not really fight just scare the *beep* out of someone well maybe land a couple of good ones on his smug face He's my cardiologist and the man I hold responsible for my stroke. I had a heart beat problem A-fib which he detected after my regular doctor detected it while having a yearly check up. We can fix the very easily with a procedure called electric sinus conversion, they step your heart and then bring out the paddles and start it again, 99% sucessful he says. So I figure might as well get this taken care of now, well I fell into that wonderful !% that it didn't work on. as I'm leaving the hospital with about ten perscreiptions he say mt big fear is that now you'll go home and have a stroke, which is exactly what I did. the procedure had either created a blood clot or knock one lose. that was about a year and a have ago, my recovery was fairly quick and good inthat I suffered no that much brain damage. the only think I've yet to get over is a very bad depression. I know what do I have to be depressed about absolutely nothing, but that just makes the depression worse. My shrink who has me on a quarter ton of anti depressants says that the stroke damaged my neuron receptors and they aren't firing correctly, very hard to fix using just chemicals. So last Friday I went for my yearly visit to the heart man who informed me that the three meds I'm taking form my hear arythemia A-fib unfortunbly cause clinical depression sometimes very severe. So know he want to do a procedure where they go into the heart and burn or freeze certain nevres the are causing a electrical problem resulting in my heart beating at about 240 beats per minute when I'm at rest. He tells me in his smug little way that this one is 98% sucessful. Ya sure. So today I'm going to get the heart holt monitor strapped to my body with about twenty yards of hospital tape so they can monitor it for 48 hours.taking it off is so much fun as I have a hairy chest but when the done it's almost bald. Then I'm getting a second opinion. but if it would stop the Afib I'll have more than the 5 or 6 years they forecast if it can't be fixed. And I won't have to take the drugs that seem to be keeping me so depressed. With my great luck I'll get off the drugs end the depression rediscovery my lost love of life, then drop dead of a heart attack. I know be positive and I am for this seems like the last Train to Clarksville and I would like to be on board. Guess we'll see how the cards play out, here's hoping. Clark