• entries
    16
  • comments
    48
  • views
    5,327

Will she ever stop?!!!!!!


caringfor5

513 views

I know that it probably seems like I only ever post to complain about something, but for goodness sake is my life ever going to just calm down. It seems like its always something.

 

Mike and I thought we had the Social Security straightened out but on the 3rd when he didn't receive a check I started to worry. On the 4th I decided to call the local office and find out what was going on since this would have been the first month that Mike and I would receive a check here at the house. When I called I got no where but did find out that I was not appointed as his Representative Payee but the person who answered the phone could not tell me why and had me leave a message with the person who took our application. I left the message and on Friday I still hadn't heard anything back so I decided to call, well just the person I need to talk to answered the phone. Of course she went through all the normal verification procedures to make sure that I was who I said I was and that Mike was who he said he was and that she had permission from Mike to talk to me about his Social Security. Then we began to discuss why I was not appointed as Mikes representative payee even though we were told that I would be. Well I couldn't believe what I was told......I was told that I can not be Mikes representative payee because I am under investigation. When I asked her what she was talking about, she said I'm sure you know what you're being investigated about. I said I most certainly do not know what you are talking about. She said well it says here on Mikes file that you are being investigated for forgery and fraud. I swear my heart was just racing, I was so upset and mad because I had no idea what was going on. I asked her if this was something the Social Security office was investigating or information that they were given by someone (his Mom) the lady wouldn't tell me she said that that was all she could tell me. So I told her that I would be contacting my attorney because I have never committed forgery or fraud. So the only thing I can think of that is going on here is that his Mother told them that I had done these things. I don't know if I have mentioned on here before but for some reason his Mom was bent out of shape back in March when Mike and I filed his taxes and he claimed his daughter who lives with her. Mike has claimed his daughter on all the tax forms that I have ever seen from the past few years and had told me when we first started dating and i asked him how can you claim your daughter doesn't your Mom and Dad (she lives with his Mom), and he told me that his Mom and Dad have always let him claim his daughter because he needed the tax credit more than they did. Made sense to me seeing as how his Dad makes about 4 times the amount of money in a year than Mike ever did. I never questioned it and Mike was never contacted during other years by the IRS or anything. So this year when we did his taxes we did them the exact same way, now his Mom is saying that by ME (its always me not me and Mike) doing this I have committed fraud. Although I've told her repeatedly that we filled out the tax papers the exact same way that he always has and that if she has a problem with it to contact the IRS and they will straighten it out.

 

The other thing that she seems to have a problem with that I DID NOT do, is she claims that my children were on Mikes original Social Security application and that somewhere along the line I MUST have filled out a Social Security application for him. I did not fill out a social security application for him and even if I did I would not have attempted to claim my children as Mikes I think its absolutely absurd to even think that I would. My children are taken care of I don't need Mike to bring in more money for my children to be taken care of.

 

So she is claiming to the Social Security office that I did two things that I did not do. First of all I did not sign anything for Mike. His tax forms were done over the internet and he was fully aware that his taxes were being done. I did not fill them out and then sign them as if I were him. And i have copies of the last two years that he claimed his daughter before this year. As far as the Social Security application is concerned, I never filled out a application for him, this I am absolutely positive about. IF my children were on that application (and that is a big IF considering his Mom is a pathological liar) then someone else put them on there and I don't know who that could have been. I don't know if the long term acute care facility he was in put them on there by mistake or what, but I know I didn't.

 

This is just another couple of things to add to the many things she has done to us. It is always something. I don't know why she can't just leave us alone. I have never done anything that isn't beneficial for Mike. I have taken care of him physically and financially since the strokes. I never faltered in caring for him even while he was still in the hospital, I was always there as much as I could be. I put myself in a position where I was jeopardizing my job because I was there so much, and I was jeopardizing my financial security because I was paying for gas and hotel stays by myself to be there every weekend and every day that I had off. I jeopardized my relationship with my children because I couldn't be in two places at once. Yet I have done all this and his Mother has always treated me like I somehow don't do enough. This is the same person who, before the strokes, wouldn't even act like she knew her son if we ran into her at the supermarket or a restaurant unless he walked up to her first. This is the same person who never came over to our house to visit or anything like that and we lived here for a year and a half and only twenty minutes from her. This is the same person who when I called her the day Mike was admitted to the hospital she said she wasn't going to come up to the hospital it was to late in the day (it was 4:00 pm). Basically what I am trying to point out is this person could care less about her son until he was nearly dead, then he was important and everyone else who cared about him and loved him had let him down by LETTING this happen, as if I had somehow caused the strokes, that I was neglectful towards him and could have prevented it from happening. And no, her actions towards her son before the strokes wasn't brought on by a dislike for me, because she did not know me whatsoever before he had the strokes. We only got to know eachother after. I used to always question Mike as to why he and his Mom weren't close and he would try to explain it to me but I just never understood how a Mother and Son could be the way they were towards eachother, but now that I have had to deal with her since, I know exactly why he couldn't get along with her. She is crazy (and I'm not saying that lightly), she makes up stuff as she goes along, talking to her is like talking to a brick wall and no matter what you say she is always right and you are always wrong. And she actually has the nerve to tell me that she would have done this and she would have done that as far as the day that Mike went into the hospital as if my actions weren't good enough. Well what about her actions for the last 35 years. Maybe if he had a support system before he met me then he would have had a better job, would have had insurance, would have cared more about his health on his own. I don't blame his Mom for what has happened, but if we are going to look at this as if i could have prevented it somehow then what about her, I wonder if she ever thinks about that. I was only back in his life for a year and a half before this happened she had a whole life time to make him feel like his life was important and she didn't do that, if anything she made him feel the exact opposite and it was me who finally made him feel loved.

 

Bottom line is a person that I didn't even know because her own Son couldn't stand to be around her is making my life a living hell and I am really getting tired of it. My lawyer is sending a letter to her attorney and to the Social Security office to try and get this straightened out. Who knows when it will be before Mike actually gets his Social Security check instead of his Mom.

 

Tina

3 Comments


Recommended Comments

 

What an awful lot of stuff to deal with, Tina! I got worn out just reading it, I can't imagine what it would be like living it. I'm so glad you've got a lawyer working for you now.

 

Jean

Link to comment

Whoo!!!! thanks guys for even taking the time to read that, I didn't realize how long it was. I think I said probably everything I would like to say to her but I know I can't, not only would she not listen but my lawyer has advised me not to speak to her about anything she has done.

 

Today Mike and I went to Rehab of St. Louis to see a new OT for Mikes arms. I was asked it the paper work in his file was correct and while I was looking over the paper work that was filled out the first time he went by his Mom (because she was POA at the time), I saw that she had put down that she was his primary caregiver. That kind of stuff really P***** me off. I guess it just aggrivates me to know that I am dealing with such a liar that she would even lie on Mikes medical papers and say that she takes care of him. She's never even remotely done anything that could be considered caregiving. It actually made me sick to my stomach to know that that was in his file. At least I got to set the record straight.

 

Thanks again for the comments. I just really have to vent sometimes to keep from going crazy.

 

Tina

Link to comment
Guest
Add a comment...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.