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Hi Smiley Baby,

I'm glad you remembered us here at Strokenet and came back to let some of these feelings out. Do you have a school counselor or a social worker at the hospital where your dad is at that you could talk to? Either one would be able to connect you up with someone who could help you sort all this stuff out. You need a safe, non-judgmental person to help you with the guilt and anger---both emotions, by the way, are normal under the extraordinary circumstances that you family are in. It might seem stupid to talk out your feelings but everyone needs to from time to time. If you can't bring yourself to find a professional to help you, journaling your feelings can be a big help too.

My mom was in a coma for a very short time and when the emergency people first were trying to get her to answer their questions, she of course didn't reply. But the part that I'll never forget is that when she finally did wake up her first words were answers to the questions that were asked of her way back when she first lost consciousness. It made a believer out of me that people can hear you when you're talking to someone who appears not to response like your dad. It's the sound of your voice that is important, not what you say, so you might try reading to him if that would be easier than talking about your day, etc. Pick something upbeat like the Chicken Soup books of short stories.

Congratulations on the scholarship!!!

Jean

Tess, the closest I can get to telling you what your presence and the sound of your voice means to your Dad is the example of a friend of mine who was put into a coma when she had viral meningitis. When she came out of the coma her family asked her what she remembered. She said: the sound of the sea (possibly the machinery around her) the feeling of sunlight on her skin( they wrapped her in warmed blankets if she got cold) and the sound of the voices of the people she loved around her.

I know it is hard to speak to someone who does not answer, but maybe you could think of it like the "news" you used to do in class when you were in infants school. You could compose the news of the week under a few headings and tell them to your Dad a few sentences at a time. Each time you finish an item of news, squeeze his hand,he may surprise you and squeeze back one day.

As Jean said, it may surprise you when he comes out of the coma how much he remembers. In the meantime remember to support your grandparents who are going through such a frightening experience themselves. Give them the warmth of your love and your hugs.

Hugs for you from Sue. :friends:

hi smiley, i am so sorry about your dad, you and your brother are alful young to have to go through something like this, i was 48 when my clot caused a stroke and my son was17 and yes it is hard but it is very important to keep talking to your dad,even if you tell him a joke, your whole family has been turned upside down. keep up your hope and try and find someone to talk to. it will help, i will keep you and your family in my prayers. Good luck in your dads recovery, things will look brighter soon, i hope kimmie

hi smiley baby:

welcome to our blog world, first and foremost I am very proud of you for your accomplishments, you are great kid, and I strongly feel you should talk to your dad even while he is in coma, what you got to loose, if he heard you then he will atleast know that somebody out there loves him and care for him to rurn around, maybe he is hanging there just for his kids, so tell him how much you love and miss him, and I feel sorry for your mum, but I think you can take leadership role at home for your brother and for ur dad. you are capable of it. and since I have never met you before I am just wondering how old r u, also take Jean's advice, talk to social worker in the hospital about your dad's conditions.

love

Asha