Since Friday, I've been going through severe bouts of burning pain from my CPS. Rest has been fleeting, and the pain much worse than what has been usual. Today it is somewhat better, however, it never goes away. I find that keeping my mind active on reading, or here on the computer, seems to help some, so here I am.

The standard fare from friends always seems to be that I look good. I usually say to them; "Thank you. I think I look pretty good too." Looking good and feeling good are two different things. I just about had a meltdown after church yesterday. My friend Kathleen noticed it, and almost took me to the hospital. I told her I was OK to go home, which is where she and her husband Phil took me. Kathleen has Fibromyalgia, so she understands a bit about unexplained pain. Kathleen and Phil are two friends that know the difference between looking good and feeling good.

Sometimes I feel the need to put on my happy face for people. I don't know whether that's good or not. I guess it is me trying to fight; being as close to what we call normal in this world. I can be genuine with those really close to me, but for the rest, I think I pretend that I am just fine. If they only knew what my body felt like, they would have an appreciation of what I go through daily. Of course, I would never really wish that on anybody. I suppose "walking a mile in my shoes" applies to everybody though.

So what about today; what is today going to bring my way? Well, the pain is still here, but I am going to fight through it as best as possible, just like every other day. If I need to rest, I will. If I feel the need for companionship, I will go to a Life Group meeting later, where people from church in my area get together for study and fellowship. In the meantime, I will listen to music, do a little computer tweaking, and try to keep my mind off this annoying pain.