In just a few weeks it will be my fifth stroke anniversary. Recently we moved and I just saw my new Neurologist. He only had my medical records to go by from my previous Neuro. He hadn't ever seen me paralyzed on one side. He had never seen the tears or anger from the frustration of recovery. In other words he saw the 5 year post stroke survivor who has accepted that this is the new me and can walk unassisted

As he is asking me questions and having me squeeze his fingers with my affected hand and checking my reflexes he asked me a question that floored me, I hit the brick wall and drew a complete blank. I'm still trying to list the answers I should have given. The question he asked was a simple one that five years ago I could have rattled off the answer. He asked me "What deficits do you still have from your stroke?"

I guess my inability to list them all can be seen as a really good thing. I may be stretching a bit here and if my logic seems faulty, blame the brain damage. I feel like I've always been this way. I now realize that I passed that place where it is easy to get stuck by focusing on what I lost. :Clap-Hands: I feel good knowing that I just may have grown into this new skin the stroke left behind and I am feeling comfortable with myself. because it wasn't an easy journey getting here as anyone affected by stroke knows.

I know the first year was a trying tough phase and each sucessive year that has passed, has only added to the progress tally sheet. Maybe my inability to list what is still wrong can be called denial or cognitive deficits. I prefer to call it progress and celebrate my sucess.

Yin