I am sitting here this morning with my world spinning out of control. I'm not sure which way to jump or how to act or how to feel. I have thought alot about God and really felt like there is no such thing. I'm not saying that I have 100% changed my mind to believing again. I am just trying to find the strength to deal with the situation that surrounds me right now. I don't really know how or where to turn. Maybe there is a God and this is a test of my strength or faith. I really don't feel that I can do this. This is not how it is suppose to be. When someone gets that ill, they are just suppose to close their eyes and leave. There is not suppose to be suffering for good people. Why is my mom being put through this? Ok maybe my dad and I are being punished by having this dumped on us, but why punish her? Where is the fairness in that? I honestly just want to run away. I wish I could hide until it is all over. I don't want to deal with this, watching my mom get weaker and weaker every day. It isn't fair to her. Where are the answers? Is there anyone or anything that can help me? I just wonder these things as I am sitting here watching my mom slip away.................................