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He's Home!




Ray is home. We've had our first fight already so some things haven't changed...lol.


I picked up the quad stick at the "lending store", the hospital provides it free on loan for three months so he shouldn't need it after that. I got lost because it is up the back of an old industrial estate, waaay up the back. But still I got it. I've also borrowed a narrower shower stool but have decided to have the little store room next to the toilet made into a shower room anyway. That way there is no hassles when he has to maybe have a wheelchair style shower chair. Looking down the track that could happen.


I have all the gear to give him his first insulin tomorrow morning, still shivering in my shoes about that but a lot of you have shared your experiences so I know that practically I have to do it and it will be okay. Also got a run through all his meds, he has five different or new drugs now, the doctor might not want all of them continued, we'll find that out tomorrow when we go to him. There are meds for gout, a third diabetic med, a new one for the arhythmia and the calcium supplement and the b12 shots, weekly now, monthly later, so that is a heap of medication. Most of it will be subsudised so hoping not to have too much expense there.


There is now a shower nurse twice a week and hopefully the minder on Friday mornings to give me respite. I will only at this stage have the help for six weeks as this is short term care package designed to give caregivers the incentive to bring an invalid home. Then if I am lucky I will get the long term help until Ray reaches 65 in September and then he goes into another catagory and I qualify for help more readily, well that is the theory anyway.


I have had three very sad phone calls today. The first was to tell me of the death of an old friend, the second to tell me another old friend has just entered hospital in the final stages of terminal cancer which is sad but he is an older man and has had a wonderful life. The third to say another friend has just had a massive stroke, right side paralyzed, no speech, nothing but the hand squeeze to show he can hear. He is a larger than life storyteller of note who has been the judge of many a debate and once ran for parliament so his speaking has made him famous locally. What a crying shame! He is maybe 65.


Since Ray has had his strokes and limited abilities we have made some fine acquaintances and a few good friends. All are much older than us and so slowly we will lose them, it is one of the disadvantages of having older friends. But when Ray stroked at 57 and had to retire these were the people who offered us help, emotional support and their friendship. We all have expereinced losing those we thought of as friends. For us some disappeared immediately, some fell away as the years went by so we have been grateful for the company of these delightful older women and fellows but are now destined to see them pre-decease us both. Sometimes life is like that.


But on the brighter side I also received two offers of help, one to supervise the tradesmen I will have to get in to do the new shower room and another to give me a sitter for Ray if I need to go out. I will sometimes have to get away, to go the the pharmacy or to get my hair cut or maybe to see Mum for an hour's visit. This could be used when Trev is working nights so with him in the house as a back up I am sure this sweet little older lady could manage. She just has to keep Ray leg-roped to the chair.


And that was what our first fight was about. I put on some laundry and Ray took the opportunity to go to the bedroom. He is supposed to have me by his side when he walks for the first six weeks he is home as he is still tippy on his feet and the fractured pelvis is not entirely healed. I need to write it on posters all over the house and record it on a continual loop and flash it across the television screen: "Ray, please do not walk unless Sue is with you".


So if you see a rocket crossing the upper atmosphere trailing what looks like washing that will be a banner reading:"Ray, where is Sue? She should be right beside you."





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I saw your blog title and nearly did a back-flip, I was so excited!!! Nearly!

I am so happy to hear Ray is home, I know it means new stresses on you, but I also know how relieved you must be to just have him there.


As for your friend who had the stroke, why does it always seem the people who are the greatest communicators and story tellers have the left-brained strokes/aphasia??? Such a cruel twist of fate...




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I am happy that Ray is home even though it will bring new stress! There truely is no place like home and I'm sure Ray is glad to be back. Hang in there - a new routine will work itself out.

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Glad to hear about Ray being home and sad to hear about your friend's bad news.


If Ray is using a wheelchair, they do have trays you can add that will make it impossible for him to get out without help. Poor guy likely just forgets. Good luck!!!!!!!!



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Sue, good luck on making all the necessary adjustments to make everything user friendly for Ray. Maybe it won't take you too long to establish a routine you can live with.


As always, I think of you two and wonder if my wife can care for me as you have done for your husband for many, many years.

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I am so happy for both of you that Ray is home, thogh I am sure you will have new challenges at home, I don't hav e to tell you but use all help people offer




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Guest lwisman


Congrats Sue that Ray is finally home. Good luck to both of you. Positive energy continues to be sent in your direction. :Clap-Hands:

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Gret News that Ray is home. Sorry to hear about your friends.


The tray idea sounds good.. I was thinking of putting a bell on him...lol


(men just don't listen.. the day after hernia surgery mine was outside on the tractor....aargh).


I know you will get the insulin shots down just fine.. The first few injections you do are always a bit scarey.. in no time you will feel like a pro.


Glad your are getting some help and that is so nice to hear of the offers from friends.


Sending warm wishes and lots of hugs to you both.


((((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))))) Bonnie

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Dear Sue--I'm doing a jig for you and Ray! So glad he is home! You have great plans for taking care of him and also ways you will get respite. I am so happy for you all! Congrats!!!!!!!! (((((((((HUGS))))))))) Take Care. LK
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If I was able to do so, without falling on my nose, I'd be doing a :happydance: right now, Since I don't want rug burns on my nose, I'll just extend :Clap-Hands: :Clap-Hands: :cheer: :cheer: that Ray is home. You'll be a pro in no tme with the insulin injections, I'm sure. Sorry to hear though about your sad news. It's super you'll be getting some "helpers" too.

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Sue, So glad Ray is home. you have worked hard, runing back and forth to see him and getting everything done. You are still making more plans. And I am glad he feels good enough to pick a fight. hahaha. but take time to just sit and enjoy having him home. I know what it is like to have to remind someone they cant get up without you, even though they think they are totally capable. Had a tough time with my mom about that. Hang in there, and try to laugh it off while getting to his side. I can hardly wait to hear your story about giving the first shot. Hope you dont faint.


About frineds, they come into our lives then go from our lives sometimes before we even realize they have. You have much to give to each friend and also will recieve much in return. I am sory to hear so many are having simular problems. It is tough and hurts to see those we care for going through things. But we are all in it together at some point. And I know they draw striength from you.





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Hi Sue,


I'm so glad you are able to now fall into a routine with Ray. It does make all the difference, doesn't it - it seems the routine doesn't matter - it's just the routine of having our man home and under our care that makes us feel better!


We've done Bill's shots in the arm, the tummy and for now he prefers the leg. I'm getting lots of experience since he gets the injections twice daily. He takes 2 different pills, too. Since he now takes 21 different prescription meds I do use a medication tray and prepare his meds once weekly. I couldn't handle even daily dosing wouthout messing it up! I have a med sheet and never deviate from the list - that way I know I haven't missed any and haven't mis-dosed the medication.


I wish I could say I was really successful with Bill walking with assistance. I guess I was because I was so diligent, but I couldn't leave him any notes that he could read so it was alot of mental telepathy - I hate to say it, but sort of like potty training the kids!!!!!!!!! Here we are back to the old "nag" thing, right?


Anyway, I am so happy you are getting settled, and that you have some assistance too. Just remember, he did survive the care of others when you couldn't be with him in the hospital, so he can survive another's care so you can get out once in awhile!




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Glad to hear that Ray is home Sue & that you will be getting some help to manage the 1st 6 weeks, you will get to manage his injections ok & you will soon be doing it like a pro !!

At least now he is home you will be able to relax & not worry about how he is getting on at rehab.

Sorry to hear about your friends Death , cancer & stroke , They say things happen in threes so hopefully you will only get good news for the rest of the week.

Our prayers are with you both, Anne & Baz.

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