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Feel hopeless...


SURVIVOR112261

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Has anyone else divorced recently over their stroke? He was my caretaker and best friend. Mine just fell apart. I think he wanted a normal woman........... Its only been a few weeks but it feels like longer. The bed is empty where he used to lay.. Anyone have any tips????

 

I would appreciate it... My Mom took the caretaker place...... He didn't have to help with much. I don't understand how a person could be so cruel. I thought it would last forever.... He promised me. Where's the "in sickness and health" part of the marriage vows??? :tongue:

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I am sorry you are hurting. I can only imagine how you must be feeling. Some people just don't have to courage to step-up when they are needed. Grieve your loss of your friend and partner. Then show the courage to be the one to step up and not let his weakness be your downfall.

 

Best wishes and hugs,

Kristen

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Hi there,

I agree 100% with Kristen - especially since he said you would fail. The grieving process is normal. He's human (sotospeak) so focus on the times he behaved like a real sh-- (prestroke) and hopefully that will make things a tad easier. Allow yourself the grieving process but try not to wallow there for an extended period of time. Something that may help too - writing him a letter (which you never send) but gives you the chance to vent.

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hey :

 

I know you are hurting but remember this you are stronger and you will be able to get through this too, I wondered for long after stroke what would I do if my hubby leaves me, but now I don't worry about it anymore, I think it will be his loss not mine, I strogly believ God never gives you more than what you can handle, and out of every adversity something good will come out, On these site I have met couple of woman whose hubby left after their stroke, and they are still doing wonderfully.

 

when one door closes, God alays open up some small window, but we keep on looking at closed door and miss to recognie and see small window

 

Asha

 

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Dear Sherry,

 

I'm so sorry you have to go through this pain--you can see from all the responses that you have a lot off support, and a lot of people are thinking of you. Look after yourself well, and treat yourself gently, as if you were helping someone else.

 

Don't feel alone--you are not.

 

Trina

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Hi Sherry,

 

I have not gone through having my spouse leave, but I have worried about it since my events. I would suspect that what you are going through is far more common that any of us would suspect.

 

The role of a caregiver is not for everyone. Some people are stronger than others and if they cannot find an outlet for their frustrations then it makes it worse. BUT it is THEIR LOSS! I believe we have more to share and give than people who have just gone through life without struggles.

 

You are in my thoughts and I wish I could help.

 

Kind regards,

Dickons

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My granparents were deeply in love with each other for all the years they were married. My grandfather worshipped my grandmother and my grandmother said the day she met my grandfather, she put herself in his pocket and never left.

 

When my grandfather had "Hardening of the Arteries," it devastated my grandmother. My grandfather provided everything for her. He was her life. His disease tore her apart. I stayed w/ her during some of that period and it was crushing to see her go through this. Her patience was cut thin w/ him. Her world was cut out from underneath her. I acted as her sounding board. When he died, it was devastating. I have never witnessed such grief; not before and not since. I stayed w/ her through her grief then.

 

I'm just saying that sometimes people just cannot handle what has happened to us. I haven't lost friends but I have friends who never come and visit me. My brother and his wife don't come and visit me and I have another son who calls occassionally but never comes to visit. I love themvery much but I accept their limitations.

 

You need time to grieve as the others have said but you also have to forgive. Not for his sake but for your own well-being. This time is for you to take care of yourself. This is the time you must be selfish and make yourself come first. You need all the strength you can muster to get as well as you can. Take care of yourself and enjoy your family and friends who are in your life. Treasure them as the gifts they are to you.

 

I hope the very best for you. Take Care. LK

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