• entries
    812
  • comments
    3,772
  • views
    232,190

a week of activity


swilkinson

648 views

I kind of imagined that Ray would come home and life would settle back down again. I don't think I could have been more wrong. If anything it is like living in a washing machine at the moment, one minute you're up, one minute you're down, every minute you are moving!

 

Ray came home on Thursday as planned. He was really glad to be home but I can see a big difference in him. He is just drifting, just doing what has to be done and nothing more. If it is mealtime he eats, just eating takes a lot of time now as he seems to eat in slow motion. Then he gets up and goes back to whichever chair he was sitting in before. If I ask him to he goes to the bathroom and washes his hands and face but if I don't mention it he just sits. I guess that is the long term effect of a long stay in hospital, you just take sitting and waiting as your daily task and everything else comes from people asking you to do something. But he needs to be up and doing or he will just continue to get weaker and weaker.

 

On Friday we went to the doctor and the barber. Our barber is a character, as they all seem to be, and he chats and jokes and teases his customers. Ray loves the trip to the barber. "Look in the mirror, what a handsome man. Ten years off your age , mate. Look out missus will have to beat the girls off with a broom. You take care now, you hear." By this time Ray has a big grin across his face.

 

The session with the doctor is not as good as the doctor reads all the discharge papers, looks up the new medications, agrees to all of them but one, the gout medication clashes with one of the others. Ray only gets gout occassionally and just stays off his feet for the day so he doesn't really need it. The doctor is now very concerned about Ray's ability to stay at home. We discuss safety issues, walking etc. I say I can cope at the moment. I think he is concerned for my health too but at present I am okay. But I am very tired. The few little jobs Ray used to do like the lunchtime washing up he no longer does. Not even made his bed except for one day this week. Adding those chores to the ones I already do may "break the camel's back".

 

The weekend just went by in a blur, I am trying to get things back to pre-fall level, we shopped on Saturday and went to church on Sunday and Ray slept the rest of the time. He seems to need a lot of sleep again. This means only doing one thing a day not two and life is hard to fit in when that is all you can do. I am not feeling the best as the winds are blowing from the west again and my sinusitis is back with a vengeance.

 

Monday we had a quiet morning, well Ray did, I have a lot of housework piled up and am trying to pack back a bit as we have the shower room going in where my old store room was and what the heck are we going to do with the contents of the store room? In the afternoon Ray had physio so we made a brief visit to Ray's Daycare "family" they were all glad to see Ray and the supervisor reminded them Ray will be back on Monday and they cheered! That gave him a real boost. The physio is another of those bright enthusiastic young men who knows that if the client just does all the exercises every day at home all will be well. I won't give you my opinion of that thought as I want this to be an upbeat entry for a change.

 

Tuesday the shower nurse came, she was bright and breezy and fortunately on time. We had a funeral to be at at 10.30am so she arrived at 9.15am, swung Ray into the shower and brought him out all pink and clean. She said she could do other jobs if I wished to fill in the hour but I explained that we really needed to be out of there by 10am. And we were. Just. We had to pick up a friend and went to the funeral, burial and funeral tea. Didn't arrive at the tea till 12.30pm and then had to leave to take a neighbour to Craft, went back to pick up Ray, went back to the church for Craft etc. Made a bit of a whirlwind of the day but we survived.

 

One amusing incident happened at the funeral tea. It was held at the deceased person's house. She had a lovely garden planted down the long sloping land, designed as a rainforest with twisting paths and steps at various levels. Like most rain forests this is supported by.....well, you guessed it....rain. So when the rain started softly falling right after we got there, so did the pipes running overhead that use the water off the roof as additional watering, so the guests got quite a good sprinkling. Most hid under strategically placed umbrellas and avoided the worst of it but Ray had been carried down two flights of stairs in his wheelchair and we were a bit short on cover, so a small hand-held umbrella had to do the job. I then went away to do the first run to the Craft group. Then some of the the men of the party decided Ray needed to go inside so could walk up the stairs with a bit of help. So taking him under his armpits between them they hauled him up! Being a "bloke" he of course did not mention that he was not allowed to do stairs, has osteoporosis etc so they thought they had done a good deed and I wasn't about to say otherwise. On the other hand he got no sympathy when he mentioned the next day that he was a bit sore under the arms either! He has to learn to speak for himself if I am not with him.

 

Wednesday our four volunteers from our Apex40 club came and started the shower room, it was the best part as far as they were concerned, the day of demolition! So the walls and floor were cleared and then out through the window the wall cladding went in small enough pieces to fit through. Then they jack hammered a new waste pipe area, and reefed up the concrete outside. I am the builder's labourer who gets to cart it all away though. Wouldn't you just know that had to be the case? So all my store room content is out under the shelter of the patio roof and somehow in the next few days I have to filter it all back into the house. Yesterday I also had to clean out and repack the freezer so I am really starting to feel as if all this comes at a pretty high price. My aching back and my aching arms!

 

My.... look what a large pile of rubble there is to clean away before Saturday. Imagine me red in the face and hauling concrete to fill in holes at the side of the driveway for the rest of the week.

7 Comments


Recommended Comments

 

.

 

 

Wow, what a busy week you've had, Sue. Hope Ray picks up as he gets used to being home again and gains some more strength.

 

Jean

Link to comment

Wow a busy weekinded, I hope Trevor can help you wih moving some of the cocrete pieces.

 

And hopefully after Ray regains some strength he can add his little chores back to his routine.

 

Could any of the new meds make him tired or ... a bit out of it?

 

Thank goodness for the shower nurse for now.

 

((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))) Bonnie

Link to comment

I got tired just reading your blog!!! Whew what a week. Maybe somebody could help you remove the rubble, that's not a job for a lady!!! I hope you both settle down soon and hope Ray gets strong enough to help out again. Hugs from SA.

Link to comment

Sue,

 

It's always a real dose of reality when our beloved comes home to one person's care vs a team approach isn't it?

 

From reading your activities on the day of the funeral, I think Ray did very well indeed. I'm surprised you both didn't collapse - I know it's hard to remember, but please try to pace yourself. I know for me the social aspects of handling stroke has been the most difficult. I fight tooth and nail to maintain the little social activities we have because I need it - I really don't think Bill has the capacity to care one way or another. He would be just as happy going for a drive as going out with a group of friends. And going to a funeral is out of the question - he won't go. We have had a few friends (and one of Bill's cousins) pass away since his strokes and he has refused to go. We have sent a card instead and people have understood. So, you have really accomplished something!

 

And I think the suggestion of Trevor helping with the heavy work is an excellent one. You really do have enough to do inside without getting started on the heavy work outside. Just think - what would happen if you hurt your back while moving heavy cement? Trevor may have a busy life - but you have a need! (I get frustrated with Bill's son - way too busy to come help with Bill)

 

I don't envy you packing up a room. I look around here and know I need to get the closets cleaned, and just get rid of the junk I let pile up....NOT fun! I hope we can see the results of all your hard work though when the shower room is done!!

 

Love,

Link to comment

Sue:

 

wow you had busy week, and I wondered how come Sue hasn't blogged yet, now understood, I agree with everyone getting your son involve in household chores is very good idea.

 

Hope Ray's strength and willingness to help in household chores comes back again.

 

Asha

Link to comment

Wow Lady!!!

What a week you've had - I need a nap just reading about it. Hopefully Trevor can give you a helping hand.

 

And...hopefully Ray will liven up soon.

Link to comment

It makes me tired just reading your blog.. Yes I to agree that Trevor should help with the clean up...You must remember that if you get sick and can't look after Ray he will have to go into respite and you may have to join him... I know we all like to get things done and over with but one can only do so much. Take care of yourself and get some rest>>>>

Link to comment
Guest
Add a comment...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.