Well I am in Texas with my mom for a couple of weeks so she can take care of some business.

I see now that I am pretty scared about going in public but I still go because I have to. I used to be such an out going personality but now I am quiet and reserved. Mostly because I get so frustrated to communicate so I just be quiet. Oh now that really doesn't make sense because I can talk not the best but I can do that. Why can't I seem to remember that?

The last couple of days I have days that I can't understand I had a stroke. Not me... this is all the dream because I feel pretty good. Like I used to feel after a regular day. SOme tiredness but otherwise ok. That is a very strange feeling.

I also am started to care about my appearance again and I didn't do that a couple of months ago. I just wear my to big seats and a sweatshirt. Before all this I used to love watches, I mean there are some womend that love shoes and clothes and I like watches, not the expense ones but the ones that cost 20.00 or less and I have quite a number of them but now I don't even wear a watch. It makes me sad but yesterday I had a desire to wear a watch. That is a good sign.

Yesterday I saw my 5th grade teacher. I immediately asked her I had a stroke so I am recovering. She said oh but then she just said keep going. YOu know I realize I am not ashame that I had a stroke and I would love to educate people that it is not age specific because everyone can get a stroke. NOw I see that having a bad headache is a sign as well. I wish I had known that I wonder if I would have went to the dr. faster. Probably not because it just felt like a sinus headache and I have had those before. Oh well I can't change the fact that this has happened but rather try to understand and learn and be patience. Patience why is that so hard and why am I so hard on myself. I don't know I have to think about that.

I seem to be jumping around all the place when writing this but that is how I feel because I seem to have so much in my head and it just wants to come out and they are all trying to come out the same time.