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To Know or Not to Know




I've blogged here about the class action law suit Bill has been a part of and the fact that we are now at a point where the Extraordinary Injury Fund settlement is in full swing. As part of that phase we agreed to get all medical records gathered and forwarded to the law firm. Last week we delivered all our requests and received back several sets of notes from doctors and one of the hospitals. This past week the records have continued to come in.


There are some things about Bill's medical/emotional history that I just don't know whether I want to know. The medical part is one thing, but he has had a difficult psychological past and it is very painful to see how that past has played out in his medical history. It isn't even as though I haven't known, after all I have been a part of his life during the entire time for which I've collected the records. It saddens me to see how bi-polar and alcoholism has affected him though.


We had a difficult night Friday. He did not sleep well, and was up every two hours - with my struggle with getting to sleep it seemed I'd almost drift off and he would ask, "honey, are you asleep?" DUH...!!! Anyway, he wanted to eat. So I would get him a little something that would hopefully not send his sugar soaring and he'd try to drift off again - as would I. Finally, at around 4 a.m. he decided he wanted to go to the living room. He really wanted me to make a pot of coffee, but I refused! He'd been real unsteady all night - I wonder what that was about, but I probably know.


He went to the living room, and exhausted, I dropped into bed. The next thing I heard was - yes, Bill had fallen in the living room, attempting to come back to bed. All I could think of was Ray and Sue. I rushed to the living room and there he lay - He was stunned, but I did a once over and I couldn't tell that there was anything broken or displaced. I had him lie there for a few minutes, placed a pillow under his head and talked with him. He was lucid, knew me, my name, where he was and nothing hurt him. Now it was time to see if he could sit up - yes, no problem. I asked if he thought he could get up - I can't lift Bill, although I can assist him. I brought a chair around, he got himself up into it with no problem and I retrieved his walker.


He used his walker, walked back to bed and was finally able to settle down to sleep. We both slept until about 10. I got up, checked him over, checked his sugar, gave him his meds, insulin and some breakfast. He went back to sleep and so did I. I got up at about noon, showered and had some coffee. He got up about 2, bathroom, shower...rested another hour and got up and got dressed. Our day continued on a though nothing had happened the night before. His balance was back to his "normal" and he didn't use the walker again.


He had no aches or pains, no bruises - and could not even remember the events of Friday night, although he remembered his fall. I don't know how he does it - but I'm so thankful that for right now he is able to bounce back. Of course I wondered about calling 911. And of course I know that's what we are supposed to do. I also know I have to use my own best judgement at these times My criteria was whether he could talk lucidly, any outward scrapes, able to sit, able to get himself up, any pain...I believe that time I made the best decision, and I'll continue to trust I can make the correct one next time.


So, this has been a rather odd week. Dealing with life on life's terms. Looking back doesn't do anybody any good, that's a lesson I've had to learn over and over again. What was, was - what will be, will be. Today is the only day we have and we'd better make the best of it!




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So glad to hear Bill is ok. I think about the wobbly days I have, and always try to use extra caution.


I've had a few "oopsies" where I've "landed" safely and manageably. No outright "down on the floor" for a year.


It is harder, I think, to see diagnosis and prognosis in writing versus the doc just telling one what is wrong.


It is amazing how our bodies try to rectify and "bounce" back from things we put these "vessels" through.

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Ann, Ray has had heaps of slow soft falls or falls on carpets, against walls and into chairs. I think it is the angle and the surface that determines the break.


You did well is using your common sense and judging Bill as you know him to be. I couldn't fault what you did, it is much the same as I have done with all the other falls. You can't live in fear. It is best to deal with each situation as a one-of and live as if it will never happen again.


I hope life is stable for a while.



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Glad all is well, and you both got sleep. Annie you did the right thing, you assessed the situation, had him sit slowly etc.


Maybe his BP was a little low or??? I sometimes have "wobbly days" seems for no reason. I also try to use extra care on those days, and put things on hold for a more steady day.


((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))) Bonnie

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Thanks for your support ladies! I feel like I've learned a lot over the past two years about assessing and observing Bill before I pick up the phone and call 911!


Bill does have some days that are more wobbly than others, and as I said for some reason that night he was very wobbly. I do note when we go out when he seems a little more wobbly and am sure to hold his hand. You know, by just that hand holding he seems much more steady when we walk. HMMMM...might it be a ploy???? :party:


Anyway, I don't quite understand about "soft" falls because I'm not one of those who fall softly!! When I go down I really do fall like a ton of bricks - always have. When my dilantin level was way out of whack I fell a lot. Once I thought I'd broken a wrist from the fall. That experience really did scare me and I think it's another reason Bill's falls are so scary to me.


Anyway, thanks for your notes!!

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Hi Ann,


Glad Bill didn't get hurt in the fall. I think they somehow teach us to fall right. Happens, can't really be helped without never moving out of bed.



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Dear Ann--- When I took care of my parents, I told myself I would not criticize myself for a decision I made on their behalf. The reason I made a particular decision was because I based it on information I had at hand at the time and I made it out love for my parents. I'm really good at lambasting myself generally so that talk was important to me.


I am sure your decisions are made the same way. Just know you are doing the best you can and that is good enough. Take Care. LK

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