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Time's Toll


arogers

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I know it's a combination of genes, lifestyle, and stress. Last week at the doctor's one of my arm's blood pressure read 150/100. I don't think that was correct since it was taken over a shirt. The other arm did read too high though - 132/83 I believe.

 

Sunday I didn't feel well. I felt much like I have in the past when my blood sugar took a dive. I ate a little slice of a fruit bread then took my blood sugar about 15 minutes later. 234. That can't be right, I'll take it again. 270. Now I know it can't be right so I won't do that anymore. Later in the evening I took it and it was 119. By yesterday it was back down in the 90's where it usually is. This morning it was 94.

 

Took my blood pressure in both arms.......123/83 in the left arm 98/78 in the right arm. I don't trust the cuff much, but at least it isn't high. I'll take it.

 

I've been gathering Bill's medical records for documentation for the Extraordinary Injury Fund for the Zyprexa lawsuit. 14 different records. So far nearly 2000 pages. Yesterday I called the law firm to get a shipping address. I was met with dead silence and the (presumably) legal aid said "You are sending us nearly 2000 pages? You don't need to do that. Just send us documentation showing his medical condition." That started the stress. In February I'd been told to send it all. Send anything I could get and they would sort through it. It is our responsibility to get the records now. The reason for my call had been the expense surrounding getting the information. I had been told then to call back if I felt it would be too much of a burden and they would take care of it. In addition, they would not talk with me initially because they "don't have a POA for me". I sent this several months ago, and in Frebruary the paralegal spoke with me. Yesterday though, no such thing existed. I asked where to send the POA - again - and was told I could fax it to a telephone number. I asked to whose attention and was told I wouldn't need that, just send it and it would go to the right person. Thousands of cases through a gigantic law firm and I'm supposed to nonchalantly fax a POA to just anybody and they would find the correct person. Unbelievable....Stress....

 

I was told last week I could pick up the records from the outpatient rehab facility yesterday. After being told exactly what it entailed on their end to get the records. On Friday I explained I was aware of what she needed to do, however, it had been nearly a month since I'd requested the records and was waiting for just 3 faciities to return my request. She would take care of it that afternoon and they'd be ready Monday afternoon. Yesterday afternoon I went to the rehab and was told by the receptionist - she's always the one in the middle - that the woman in Medical Records said she'd explained what the procedure would be to get the records and she hadn't been able to get to them yet. That was the last straw. I felt my blood pressure rise. I had to sign the same form I had signed a month ago for these records. Dee was confused and apologetic. I was furious.

 

I knew it was bad. I had indigestion. My head was swimming. I went to the drug store. Left arm pressure cuff.....159/100....152/98....139/83............The stress is getting to me and I can't let it. Easy words, and I'm supposed to have a program of serenity..."How Important Is It?" "One Day At a Time" "Let Go and Let God" "Serenity" Accept that which I can't change, courage to change the things I can and the WISDOM to know the difference. You'd think I would know by now I can't change a thing about the speed at which these medical faciities work. I should KNOW it. Once again, I expected someone would do what they said, yet when the time came their story changed completely from "I'll do it this afternoon" to "I told her what the process is".

 

Interestingly enough, I also sorted through Moses Cone's 1100 pages looking for the hospital records from his Wesley Long hospitalization in October 2004 which led to his transfer to Moses Cone. There are no records. There were no records in the packet I received from Wesley Long, either. When I called to enquire about the whereabouts I was told I'd get a call back, but that hasn't come yet. That leads me down yet another path. I have long held that had Bill been admitted that night from ER instead of being sent home because he was "an uncooperative patient" his initial outcome may have been different. Why are those the records missing? So, today I will make that phone call to once again inquire about when we can expect them.

 

Anyway, this thing about accept what I can't change - that's the Medical Records personnel, and the little guy on the phone from the law firm - Change what I can - that's ME...get the exercise I've been thinking I've GOT to get, continue to watch the diet to keep loosing the weight I'v accumulated, using my head to understand the difference between what I want and what I get are often two different things. I can have realistic expectations, I can be frustrated when people don't follow through with what they've said they will do, however I really don't have any control over the situation.

 

This really has been a very sobering experience for me though. This is only two years past Bill's last stroke. I haven't "gone through" any more than many, many other caregivers on this site. I've been aware of the physical dangers caregivers face as a result of neglecting our needs which are often "invisible" to others in lieu of the very obvious needs of that person for which we care. However, I've chosen to ignore the suggestions others have made, instead feeling I'm somehow different. Believe me, we really are all the same. At some point in time, unless we do take care of ourselves the responsibility of caring for someone else's needs 24/7/365 will catch up with us.

 

And so, I will take it easy for the next two weeks. I will try not to get stressed. I will roll with the punches. I'll get those danged records out of our car and off to Texas, then that part of this whole thing will be over. I'll call Wesley Long and make one more inquiry about those missing records, but I'll not hold the rest of the records for that one hospitalization since the stroke is well-documented elsewhere. Then it will rest. Then, on May 1st I'll have the physical I've missed for a year and talk to the doctor about stress, high blood pressure and frustration. I'll also continue working on that emercency care plan for Bill's needs.

 

I'm really ready for an upbeat, happy, funfilled blog. This isn't much fun.

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Ann,

 

This is your inner voice, your mother and whoever else you might believe talking----go see a doctor about your blood pressure!!!! Having such a big difference in pressure between arms is, in itself, a symptom of something!!!!!

 

If you're not already doing it, get a journal to log all your calls regarding the lawsuit, and who said what to you when. It's not too late to start one now. I was one of 50 defendants in a lawsuit that dragged on just short of a decade. I know how badly they can effect people. Several of the older people envolved died from that stress---at least their kids blamed it on the lawsuit and I don't doubt it because it WAS stressful.

 

If Wesley Long doesn't come up with records, have the lawsuit lawyer send a letter off to them. They may suddenly be more co-operative or at the very least, you'll have documentation that they lost them. More than likely they have their own lawyer going over them before turning them over to you, so keep up the barking dog trick.

 

:friends: Jean

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Ann, I am really looking forward to that upbeat, happy, funfilled blog. I just hope it is real for you.

 

I don't know how you can be so PATIENT. I would have driven over to the facilities who have been tardy with the paperwork and hollered at them in person!

 

I think it all just gets to you, the day-to-day caring, the future planning, the general feeling that it is somehow all on your shoulders. Thence comes the urge to just "run away" whether it is literal or in a fantasized sense into a "happy blog".

 

Maybe we are living in a situation that in the foreseeable future does not have "happy ever after" as an ending but we can still discover we have some good days slotted in there.

 

(((Hugs))) from Sue.

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Ann,

 

I know all too well how frustrating it can be gathering medical records. I finally ended up buying a copier to make all the necessary copies for lawyers, and now almost 3 yr. later am being asked for information which I know I've already sent. Unfortunately, those people have no idea, or they just plain don't care that you're plate is about as full as it can get. Some days it feels like their only purpose in life is to make yours more difficult.

 

If all you can get for "me" time is a nice warm bubble bath, do it. Just a few minutes to soak in the tub helps me tremendously. I've had the ups and downs with the bp also and when Gary was still in rehab, I had the chest pains that landed me in ER and an overnight in ICU. They ran all the tests, but figured it was just stress at the time. Stress can do that to you, and if you end up in the hospital overnight, who will take your place?

 

 

Sarah

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((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))

 

smaller meals, more often high protein. try to keep your blood sugar stable.

 

Sometimes one arm will read a little different,

 

As Sarah says, if you can just take a little time every day.. just me time.. for a cup of tea and some music, a bubble bath.. something just for you.

 

By the way.. legally the medical records belong to you. You can go in and ask for a chart and sit and read it. You may have to go thru their process or fee to have it copied. BUT you have the right to go in and ask to read it. Unless it has been over a certain number of years, then they can put it in storage.

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Dear Ann--I know just what you are going through. I have been trying to gather medical billing statements from hospitals and doctors. I keep thinking the people on the other end of the line cannot possibly be this stupid. It has to be something else. They have sent the requested material to the wrong address or they send a portion of the statement. I would love to be able to keep my job if I were that incompetent.

 

Do keep a journal of all your calls and any copies you send, make a note on the original w/ day it was mailed and who requested it. Also, I think the most important, when you mail something, send it registered mail where someone has to sign for it and you get a receipt of said signature.

 

Good Luck! Take Care. LK

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Here's my update!

 

My bp and sugar are both doing just fine now. I don't know what the sugar was all about but I believe it was a fluke. My bp issues were, I know, due to stress.

 

On Wednesday I got everything gathered up - with the exception of one nursing facility and the rehab center - and boxed them up and off they went. No, I didn't make copies for myself. I mailed 28# of medical records off UPS with insurance. They were signed for by "Garcia" on Friday. If there is any question I will drive to Corpus Christi and find "Garcia" myself. I believe when they open a 28# box of medical records the lawyers will agree there has been "extraordinary injury" and won't be looking through even the 1173 pages of medical records from one hospital to verify everything.

 

And so, I could cross that off my to-do list. It was a huge pressure, and I didn't help myself by trying to force others to do their jobs. I can send the other records whenever they come through - the SNF records were available Thursday but I'm glad I didn't wait. I needed, for my own health, to get that job done.

 

I know about keeping dates, times and people's names. It seems absolutely ridiculous, but people never seem to remember incidents the way we do.

 

I think I've talked about the doctor who sent Bill home because he was "not being a cooperative patient" at the time of his October 2004 stroke. I had a terrible time getting the records from that ER visit and his hospitalization. When I finally got the 10/2004 records the only ones were from the ER visit - 22 pages. The woman at medical records apologized profusely when I went back in. She said 22 pages for an ER visit was VERY unusual. There was a somewhat unusual piece to that record. Included was a letter from the doctor who told Bill he may as well go home. He had a "letter" to Bill telling him he needed to be admitted to the hospital and that he had to take responsibility for going home since he refused admission. Obviously, Bill had not gotten that letter. There was also a copy that should have been signed by Bill and the nurse. There were no signatures. I wonder at what point the doctor decided Bill needed to be admitted? Or even when he'd written the letter? Oh well, more water under the bridge. And it wasn't even viral meningitis as that doctor diagnosed!

 

Anyway, I've calmed down and am feeling better. I am more aware of my need for me time and proper diet. Bill needs the diet part too with his diabetes. It just goes on and on.

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