my name is kerry and i am codependent

i think

this is something i am learning about and do not fully understand

i was first told that i was codependent by my husband about 4 years ago

he was in rehab recovering from a drug dependency

one of the first things he told me when he came home was about my codependency issues

i of course figured he was just looking for someone to blame for his addictions

so i got all defensive and went on line and started to read up on codependency

what i read hit to close to home and not wanting to admit that i had anythng wrong with me

i shoved the codependency issue way in the back of my mind and continued on with my life

it has always nagged at me though

and as of late especially with my mom and husband losing his job and not being able to effectively communicate to family that I am sinking and need help

my codependency issues seem to have reared their ugly little heads

ahha

but this time i have decided to take control

i want to be happy

granted things in my life are far from perfect but for me to always be feeling like i am barely keeping it together

tears always on the rim of my eyes

the breakdown just around the next corner

the lid i have put on my feelings starting to pop up

i have sought help

i have an appointment with a therapist next week

i am going to make the time to fix me and learn to deal better with my feelings and problems

maybe this will help maybe not

it can't hurt i guess

at least maybe I will get some good drugs out of it

haha just kidding

sorta

:laughbounce: