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do over


lady k

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I had a rough week, the depression hit me hard, and I erased all previous blog postings. :forgive_me?:

 

So I will start again.

I was most pleased with my post on what a stroke is like for the survivor. :dribble:

 

Everyone has different experiences for their stroke. I didn't have any headache.

 

In fact THE BIG ONE happened at night. I woke up only half there. :tired:

 

I didn't even realize until I tried to get up. how can that be you ask. have you ever lost your house keys. why didn't you know they were lost until you needed them. it would be apparent if you felt something but your mind is so used to having a whole body, unless something alerts it like landing flat on the floor then trying to get up you are not conscious of it being gone.

 

the best comparison i can make is have you ever had your arm or leg go to sleep, did you know before you felt the pins and needles in it. i bet not.

 

I had severe left side neglect, why didn't i look that direction I was capable of doing so, in fact did not have any vision defect, it's about the same as you looking behind you, you just don't think to most of the time.

 

I have quite a few cognitive problems in fact even now I have hazy days.

 

it feels kind of like being drugged, with all of the medicine i was getting I just didn't think it was me.

 

have you ever started to talk about someone and suddenly couldn't remember their name.

 

that is what it is similar to what it is like.or maybe it's more like going from windows xp to windows 95 and trying the same programs. all your neat little shortcuts are no longer working, and you have to constantly watch what is going on so you don't crash the system. or driving a big suv, when suddenly you have a volkswagon engine.

 

I was rereading some of the hospital records and learned my interior carotid artery is blocked, i don't know why I didn't understand that before. :(

 

The hardest thing to manage is the emotions, antoine who ever had to deal with hormones during pregnancy can relate. some days I am just a bundle of tears, others I am easily irritated. :throw:

 

for some reason I have to take a multi vitamin with wellbutrin for it to help the depression, that is what happened this time. :hiya:

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Kakii, I am so sorry for the stage you are going through at the moment. I will assure you that the light IS on at the end of the tunnel, you just keep on walking towards it.

 

(((Hugs))) from Sue.

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Dear Kakii--Keep moving forward. Some steps may be smaller than others but you are moving in the right direction. I could relate to some of the symptoms you described and you described them better than I ever could. Take Care. LK
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Kakii

 

I sincerely hope you start feeling better. Hang in there - the light is on at the end of the tunnel and we're walking with you towards it.

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Kakii,

 

I'm sorry you had a bad day. We all have them. Maybe tomorrow will look brighter. Keep your chin up. :hug:

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I get exactly where you are coming from Lady K...I double that emotion:)

 

It seems like paper is the only place I can express myself anymore (now that I can't talk)...bummer. (We have to keep looking for that bright side, and to know we WILL survive).

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Hi Kakii:

 

lots of hugs, sorry about you not feeling so good, though also in your next blog start counting your blessings, and see how good it will make you feel, we all have good days and bad days in life, not every day will be good day, even those size 2 models also have bad days, but it is important to realize you are not alone in your stroke journey, there are lot of us travelling with you, for me trying to look at the positive side in my stroke has made me quite strong and I feel great to be around others, and look at my disability as an inconvienance.

 

Asha

 

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