I try to stay current with my blogging but now that my depression seems to be in recession, I am finding that time seems more and more valuable and that now I enjoy doing things that while depressed I was completely indifferent to. Getting back in shape has now become a top priority of mine, and unfortunately, to accomplish this, unfortunately, means being able to endure a lot of pain. I suffered a spinal cord injury in the fall of 1998 and the emergency surgery I had resulted in a build-up of scar tissue, which occurred because my body has a tendency to heal to quickly now how that is for irony? This lump of scar tissue now presses upon my sciatic nerve resulting in a cramping of my left hamstring and gluts (butt). When this charley horse hit it quite literally drops me to the floor where I roll around stretching my leg and toes trying to get the muscle to relax, and allow me to stand upright. The doctors have informed me that further surgery is pointless because the scar tissue would just continue to build up. So here, I stand no pun intended. Trying to figure out how to commence a program of exercise that will not lay me out but will help me regain some endurance and muscle mass. My body fat percentage is up to almost 20% and that undoubtedly has lead to my waist gaining 4 inches even though my weight has remained the same. I realize that I will never return to the days of 6% body fat, but 10 or 12% would be great. I do have a great threshold for pain and hope I can mobilize my motivation to see me through to the finish. I do have access to a great gym right next door. I work at a university and the physical education building is right across the road from the building where my office is located. One of my good friends is an instructor in the fitness for life course and told me he would work up a program to strengthen my left leg without much impact on the muscles. I actually thought about steroids but realized that shorts cuts at this stage of my life would only lead to me pushing up daisy