Beth, welcome to the blogging community. We get to know a lot about each other here. Survivors and caregivers are alike in that we need to try and sort our lives out and seeing things in writing helps with that. I hope you keep on blogging. Looking back on your blogs after a year or so can help you see things with greater perspective.

And the other members of the blogging community are great cheerleaders too!

So welcome and I look forward to getting to know you as a friend.

Sue.

Beth,

Welcome dear to the wonderful world of blogging. Hope you continue with it. It is enlightening (really) to look back on older entries to reread and see a progression in our recovery.

I do hope and pray you get accepted into the pain clinic soon and are able to get some relief.

Have you tried to "nap" in the afternoon before the kids get home from school? I have discovered an afternoon "break in the action" helps me to be more of a Mom when my kiddo returns from school. I've discovered, if I push all day long, I'm grumpy, irritable, and resemble a snapping turtle or should I say snapping penguin (as I so resemble one when I walk). I've discovered it's best to give in and rest versus pushing ever onward.

I am so sorry to hear about your situation - I stroked at 34 but thankfully have no children as I don't know how I would have been able to deal with all of that in addition to recovery. If you are a reader - I really enjoyed Stephen King's latest book - Duma Key about a man with brain injury. It isn't the same as stroking, but I found enough similarities that it gave me ideas on how to handle the rage monster inside.

You have more distance from your stroke than I do (I am only 2 years out), but I found anger to be (for lack of a better term) an easier emotion to access than any other. It is hard work, but have you thought about any way to address the anger?

You say that you are still married but your relationship has ended - is your husband still living in your home? Does he help with the kids? Does he try to understand your situation?

I wish you peace.

hi Beth:

welcome to wonderful world of blogging. Ican relate so much with your situation. I too stroked at 34 and now 38. I have 10 year old son, he was 7 at the time of my stroke. being full time mom is work in itself. I try to do what I can with my limited mobility. I have been married for 16 years, and stroke made our marriage stronger. I wish and pray you get accepted into pain clinic. I know pain is no fun. I for sometimes dealing with pain in my good knee which sometimes takes fun out of living. For me blogging on this site was immensely helpful I could appreciate all my small happy moments with my son and get loads of support when I am down from others.

Asha

Justsurviving, My husband still lives at home. It is definitely more like roommates than a marriage. He has his room and I share with my daighter. It has been like this over a year. Before that it was almost like our bed had a partition keeping each of us on our own side! We struggle talking about things, especially money. We have many bills, especially remaining from my stroke. We set-up payment plans when we received our first bill. This payment plan is also good with any new charges added for my frequent MRI's.He works 2 shift so he doesn't see the kids during the week. The weekend can be very stressful. My kids actually don't like weekends because he is around! They don't feel good about him and how he treats them. He can be grumpier than me. He let's them have it! I don't blame them for being upset. I get the same way when he try to treat me the same.He doesn't try to understand my situation. He has preferred to 'dorget' it every happened. Any happening similar or reminding hime of my stroke, he does not participates. I had an ambulance come to my home to try to get my kids not be afraid of my calling an ambulance for help. He sat in the house during the time. He also thinks I am lazy and choose to nap and not get things done around the house! He even said that again this morning! Things like this really reinforce time to end the marriage. Unfortunatley I have my health insurance that covers a lot of my appts. Medicare would not pay all of my specialist bills. I cannot afford this on my own. I also cannot figure out a way to make basic food, clothing, shelter without his income. When do you end a relationship because trying to make ends meet is much better mentally to end it?Donna, I do try to nap early before my kids get home. Unfortunatelt, my lack of sleep at night causes longer naps during the late afternoon evening.I should try even earlier to nap. I miss the after-school talks about how the day went and snack time! Thanks for responding.

Beth,

Dear lady, you need to care for you and your children. Have you spoke to an attorney? If I were you, I would. The there are many things that could be a part of the divorce decree such as medical insurance, spousal support, etc. Especially if his relationship with the children is not healthy for them.

As to his comments to you - how very rude of him. Do you have anyone who can talk some sense into him?

(((hugs))) to you and the kids.