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Time for everyone to grow up


merichsen

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I'M HAVING A REALLY CRUMMY DAY SO RATHER THAN SIT AND THINK AND CRY UNTIL I'M ALL CRIED OUT AND STILL REALLY IN THE SAME SPOT. i THOUGHT I'D TRY WHAT I'D DO PRESTROKE. IT WORKED WITH TWO HANDS AT FULL SPEED, WHO KNOWS? IF NOTHING ELSE IT WILL ENABLE ME FOCUS ON WRITING IT FOR A WHILE WHICH IS A GOOD DIVERSION AND I GUESS SOMEWHAT THE POINT. WHEN I HAD KIDS I VOWED I WOULD NOT BE STIFLINGLY OVERPROTECTIVE AS MY MOTHER IS AND I WOULD TRY TO RAISE THEM TO BE STRONG INDEPENDENT ADULTS. WHEN THEY WERE YOUNGER SHE HAD A HARD TIME COMPREHENDING HOW I COULD BE SO COLD AS TO LET GO WHEN I WAS TEACHING THEM TO RIDE THEIR BIKES BECAUSE THEY MIGHT FALL. HOW ELSE DO YOU LEARN? A BOO BOO ON A KNEE HEALS, LIVING LIFE IN FEAR RARELY DOES. I STRUGGLED FOR MANY YEARS TO GET BEYOND THE CONDITIONED APPREHENSIONS AND AS I SAID I SWORE I WOULD NEVER DO THAT TO MY KIDS.

SO LAST NIGHT AS I PUT MY 15 YEAR-OLD SON,MARC ON A PLANE TO FRANCE MAYBE I GET IT. MAYBE AS LONG AS I'M FEARFUL, I'LL LOOK TO HER FOR SECURITY. BUT I THINK I GOT IT AS HE LEFT AND I SAW NOT A MOMENT OF HESITATION. I KNEW IN 2 YEARS HE'LL JUST AS EASILY LEAVE FOR COLLEGE AND IN ALL HONESTY IT SCARED ME MORE THAN STARING DEATH IN THE FACE THAT MAYBE HE'LL NEVER LOOK BACK. FOR ALL THE YEARS I RESENTED HOW MY MOTHER TRIED TO CONTROL ME WITH GUILT, I UNDERSTOOD A BIT BETTER. YESTERDAY WAS THE FIRST OF THE MAJOR APRON STRINGS I CUT, I WOULD LOVE TO HAVE BOTH OF THEM AROUND AND NEVER HAVE THEM LEAVE, BUT THAT WOULD BE VERY SELFISH AND UNFAIR TO THEM. I'VE ALWAYS KNOWN THAT SO I'LL CONTINUE TO CUT THE STRINGS AND HOPE THEY REMEMBER ME.

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Maria,

 

Those apron strings are mighty hard to cut loose. I can whole heartedly understand your might mixed emotions. From where I sit though I see your Marc as a well adjusted young man ready to venture out into the world as a foreign exchange student. Boys/males do not express their emotions as we females do - after all that "would not be cool" to do so.

 

Your sons have faced challenges in their young lives - divorce and stroke - and have weathered these. I'd bet any money on the fact they will never NEVER completely walk away from you - their loving Mom, their rock.

 

(((hugs))) to you dear - hope you feel better soon.

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Oh, Maria. You are doing the right thing - absolutely. And your kids will appreciate it. My four now thank me. They are all adults, living productive lives. We can't ask for anything better than that.

 

I always cried when they left, but they always came back because they wanted to.

 

(((hugs)))

 

Vi

 

PS. My husband's great-nephew met his future wife in France. :oohlala:

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Maria, Be very proud.... The apron string is not cut.. just able to un-tie and loosen.. and retied.He maynot have looked back, may hav had a tear in his eye.. and at that age... has to be Macho...Be very PROUD that he is an exchange student and all the experience he will get. I know you will miss him while he is away.

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Maria:

 

I agree with all other ladies. you have raised your son well and yup he is growing up but you are still his mom, and that fact will remain till we meet up again in heaven.

 

Asha

 

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