Babs, you just passed the exam for the "Is she a REAL WOMAN" test. You are not an angel, you are a real red blooded woman with hopes, fears, feelings and frailties. You are not overly patient, or too good for this earth. You are REAL.

You say Eddie is so well but methinks you may still be treating him as a special case. Are you treating him as you would a normal, healthy husband when he starts to complain and blame you for things? If not. try treating him like a real husband.

When he comes at you with complains or insults stand your ground, say something like: "What you are saying is not true Eddie and I will not be spoken to like that." and walk out of the room. If he follows you tell him to find something constructive to do, you have other things to do right now. You must have done something like this before he had the strokes so really do know how to handle him.

It is hard when you suddenly realise you are retired and this is it, sometimes worse, not better, often poorer, not richer. Like me you may not be able to plan too far ahead. But you have to do the best you can as this IS the rest of your life and you need to enjoy it.

Maybe find someone to talk to, a counsellor, a friend, someone who has retired and seems to be enjoying life. I do this from time to time and try to adjust my thinking. I have cared for Ray for eight years and may do so for many years to come. I can't afford to put the whole of my life on hold because of his disabilities, so I have to enjoy what I CAN do, day by day. It isn't easy but it is doable.

(((Hugs))) from Sue.