I know I just posted... But He will be home soon. Dont know if i mentioned, He is driving now. It took a bit of doing to get him to go anywhere alone. But he has a weekly depression Class at VA hospital. Thats where he is. He will be returning home soon. I feel like runing away. I dont want hime to see that I have been crying. I dont want to confront him about any of this. At least not now. would rather not ever. But he probally wont notice anyway. I dont think he notices anything about me except what I dont do. Or what I need to do.

I have guilty feelings. Sometimes I think we both would be better off if he had not even survived.!!!!! OMG!!! DID I JUST SAY THAT????? while I am at it, why dont I jsut say the rest of it.... he is much easier to be with when he is a bit confused.

What kind of wife am I anyway? To have such thoughts. :yikes:

Now I am starting to just feel a bit down... That must be my shell coming up around me... OK, I will just go wash my face, slap on some make up, brush my hair... and put on that smile, u know, the one he never notices anyway.... then start tackleing some of the things he says I need to finish... like I dont know I need to finish them.....

Oh, I am so bad....