Sorry you're having a bit of a rough spot you're dealing with. On the plus side though you do have former staff keeping in touch - that's nice. It was like I fell off the face of the earth.

I can understand the need to contribute and be useful. I too struggle with that. Some days are easier than others - hope betters ones are in the near future for you.

Honey,

Sorry you're having to deal with this. You're sort of doing this in reverse. Most of us wake up and have to deal with the facing we lost our job/career and must deal with that loss. You were away from it when it happened and now have stepped back in to your old world so you're in a sense back at go. Not really, but only in that you never had to deal with that aspect of it and now you do. It's no picnic, but it goes away. Give yourself a chance to start anew rather than recreate.

Love,

Maria

Kathy:

I m sorry you are going thrugh tough spot right now but trust me it will get better. I agree with Maria It's better to start new then go back to old place. you survived for reason and not as punishment. have you looked into volunteering. For me voluntering and learning new things bring lot of purpose in life.

Asha

Kathy, I have been down this road a few times. When I left work to look after Ray I probably wasn't thinking he would still be here in my care nearly nine years later. So I thought I would leave work for a couple of years and then go back. I'm thankful to still have Ray with me but the role of the long time caregiver does take its toll all the same.

Now I am facing the fact that if anything happens to Ray nine years have passed, and I wouldn't be going back to work at the same level I left at. Like you there is no way for me to go back to my previous career. I am older, slower, looking toward the future as leisure time not back-to-work time.

When people ask me if I am "back at work now" I make a joke of it :"What! and give up my life as a lady of leisure?" though like you it sometimes does reduce me to tears so I excuse myself and go dry my eyes.

We have a different life now, we have survived some different expereinces to our old colleagues. I once did a lot of things I couldn't do now like complex math and remembering case work and legislation. Now I can give the same energy to looking after Ray and keeping him well.

Build some new skills and you won't regret the passing of your old life as much.

(((Hugs))) from Sue.

kathy, i agree with the other ladies. this rough time will pass. i would expect your move to bring back memories of a prior you. be thankful, you are able to be back home with your family after all these years. you can do whatever you want or you are able to do now. if you think you can go back to work, try it out. i wouldn't rush into anything though. when i went back a few years ago to visit my sister and family there, i was overwhelmed with memories of my prior self in school and the house i spent many years. i cried everywhere i went, so i do understand where you are coming from. please try and enjoy your new home and life now. let grumpy be grumpy, i understand that too. i live with one also. i wish you better days ahead.